Vermillion & Silver

Chapter Nineteen || Tokens

A stormed raged outside. Nature had unleashed it's anger on the castle, covering everything in a layer of snow while a strong wind battled against the walls. Selene looked out her window and all she saw was white. It was disconcerting, it felt like the whole world was being erased. It didn't feel like a cleansing force, it felt obliterating. In a way, it was fitting, given what had happened with Kaspian a couple of days before.

Their fight had left her broken and she was having trouble putting herself back together. She couldn't just ignore what he'd said, he was right and denying it was useless. She'd been deceiving herself and that had only made things worse. She had not been in full control of her lycan side for quite some time, but she had ignored the problem, telling herself that it was only temporary, but it was time to admit that it had not gotten better.

Selene hadn't shifted fully in more than a year. Mother Helena had forbidden the full shift when the questions about her life in the Sanctuary became more aggressive. The sisters had never been completely at ease with her lycan form and complying with Mother Helena's order had seemed like the best solution for everybody. Selene had been so eager to be accepted into the sisterhood, to become a priestess, that she would've agreed to anything.

As a result of her argument with Kaspian, she had refused to leave her room or speak to anyone for the last two days. Freya had tried to talk to her, but Selene had been in no mood for a lecture. It couldn't go on forever, but she had not found the strength to face the Alpha. At first, she'd decided to act as if nothing had happened, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how badly their fight had shaken her, but whenever she tried to get out of the room she felt the nervousness clawing at her throat. He had completely disarmed her and she didn't know how to fight back.

The storm had vanished the sun from the horizon but Selene knew it was nearing midday. It'd been a day since she last ate anything and she was considering venturing out. The omega who lit her fireplace was also tasked with bringing her breakfast every morning, but she rarely did. The girl didn't hide her dislike for the princess, and completely ignored her every time she tried to talk to her.

Selene decided that a quick visit to the kitchen was safe. Freya had taken her there once and the cook and her assistants had been friendly. So she bundled up in her warmest cloak and boots and made her way out. It wasn't only the food she needed, a stroll would be good to clear her head, she'd had the same thoughts spinning her head for hours.

Unfortunately, luck was not on Selene's side. She was just a few feet away from reaching the kitchen when she heard Kaspian's deep voice calling from behind her.

"Your Royal Highness."

She considered ignoring him, but she doubted that would deter him. "Yes, my lord," she said.

He looked tired. His hair was covered in white snowflakes and his clothes were wet. "Can I have a moment of your time?"

"For what purpose?" She had no desire to argue again and that was all they ever did.

"I wish to apologize for what happened during the full moon," he said and sighed heavily.

Selene was taken aback. Men in powerful positions weren't prone to apologizing. She'd assumed that Kaspian was the same. She distrusted his words, but he was looking at her with genuine regret in his eyes. He even seemed smaller than he normally did, less treating and almost friendly.

She almost accepted his apology, it was the polite thing to do and they both could move on with their day as if nothing had happened, but Selene couldn't bear any more insincerity.

"We cannot keep arguing in that manner," she said. She was tired of the frail peace that crumbled every time they disagreed on something. It was no way to live.