timidity 》yuwin

4.

10 mins later (after arriving to a restaurant and ordering food)
Sicheng' pov:
"Why do you keep talking to me in Korean?" I decide to break the silence between us with a rather stupid question.
"I told you already. You are a fast learner, but still you need to speak and listen to language as much as you can to make progress and..." sis starts explaining but I cut her off:
"Ok ok, got it. Anyway this restaurant apparently is a fancy one, are you sure you wanna eat here?"
"Did you forget what I have said before? I'm the best sister on planet earth, so don't worry about how much it will cost and eat till you get full"

Wide smile on her face is telling me she's totally self-satisfied. She must feel like she completed a mission. A mission to take me out and feed me. I guess it's okay then.

"You call yourself the best sister and all, but you didn't think of transport and I'm still breathing heavily after climbing all those stairs" I say jokingly.

But that really is true. Since I have moved to Korea I didn't exercise much, so it was quite challenging. I take out my phone and create a new note: START EXERCISING FATASS!!!

"Oh Sicheng, it's not because I didn't think about transport. I just wanted to have a walk with my brother while sun is shining, birds are singing..."
"Ok ok. Again. Got it" I sigh "You talk way to much... and it's not like you can hear any birds here in the center of town" I add while laughing.
"Say whatever you want I will keep talking~ also I wanted to ask how your online school is"
"Not as bad as I thought. At least I don't have to wake up early, travel by bus and stuff like that" I smile thinking about how I just sit in my own room with laptop on my knees, while other kids have to wear uniforms, get up at like 6 am and waste a lot of time on getting to school. Am I a bad person if I smile thinking about other people's suffering?

"I can actually imagine you taking classes in pajamas" my sis giggles and that makes me want to giggle too.
"Omo how did you know?"
I act like I'm really surprised and make some funny faces.

We both laugh.
It feels good.
Like a family.

"You're my brother so I know you very well. And I know that though online learning is comfortable it also has its disadvantages. I still think normal school would be better, Sicheng. School where there are classmates with whom you can make friends"
"But hello? Did you forget that we are in Korea? I can't speak well in Korean yet and online I take classes in Chinese" I suddenly explode. I quickly realise how angry and unfriendly my voice sounds.
"But you are getting better and going to school where you will be around native speakers will definetely help" she continues.

"You don't understand"

As soon as these words escape my mouth I regret saying them. I know I'm overreacting. And now because of me atmosphere is not good anymore. It feels so awkward. I want to leave the restaurant, but then a waiter comes in and brings our sushi. It looks delicious. The waiter looks like he would taste delicious too. He is handsome and smiles in a way that makes my heart flutter.

What am I thinking about now? Geez I'm with my sister. Sister who doesn't know I'm gay. Sister who always suggest me going on dates with daughters, sisters or female cousins of her friends. I look at my sister and on her face I can see that she worries and cares about me.

I'm a jerk.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I somehow survived the first week of school. And surprisingly I haven't embarrassed myself yet.

Thanks for reading guys <3

~noebedre