Passion (Book 1 of "The Fantasy of Life" Series)

Chapter 23

York

I waited until morning to talk to Valen, I wasn't looking forward to it. I was restless all night because of it, but I constantly went over what Ashanaya said and it makes complete sense. Just because it may hurt him, or me, doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do. It just sucks.

I sighed, we stood in our normal place, at the back of the group as we walked, I told them where to go and I plan to lead them there once we are getting a little bit closer, but for now, I had something I needed to do.

I didn't let Valen put his arm around me when we started walking, I knew he could tell something was up, I needed to tell him, I was just putting it off as long as I could, as I said, I really wasn't looking forward to it.

"What's wrong?" He looked over at me, there was some kinda look in his eye but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"I.. We need to talk." I looked up at him. Even after changing he was still much taller than me.

"What about? I could get Ashanaya to make everyone stop here for a few minutes if you want." He seemed worried.

"No, that's not necessary." I grabbed his arm gently, stopping because he had started to walk forward.

"Okay, well what is it then?" He asked. He relaxed a little bit but he was still very tense.

"I- Well.. I was talking to Ashanaya last night, and she told me something that made a lot of sense." I sighed again.

"What was it?" He frowned.

"Well, I asked her about her and Cullen, she said they're not, together, because of the spring. She doesn't know if his feelings are really his, she wants to wait, she wants him to love her for her, not love her because of magic from people long dead." I recounted what she said slowly.

"I-" He started to speak but he didn't say anything else. I waited to respond.

"I thought, maybe she had a point. It made a lot of sense, then I got to thinking, maybe the feelings you have for me, aren't your feelings, maybe they're just because of the spring."

"York!" Ashanaya called me from the front of the group.

I began to walked toward her slowly but I stayed facing Valen. "So maybe, we shouldn't be together for a little while."

"York." He whispered.

"Maybe It's best if we just wait and-"

He put his hands on each of my shoulders. "No. I-"

"And see if you're feelings are really your own." I took his hands from my shoulders gently.

"Th-They are. York I-"

"Valen, it's best this way." I backed away.

"I-I love you."

I stopped for a second. I started walking away again. "I'm sorry, Valen."

I jogged to Ashanaya, once I wasn't looking at Valen anymore a tear rolled down my face. I tried to not make any actual sound.

"York could you-" She turned around to look at me and gasped. "Avanashe, are you okay?"

I broke down in front of her and began to fall, but she grabbed me and held me. "I'm such an awful person, you should've seen it. I had to watch his heart break slowly. I hurt him, I hurt him so bad."

"Shh, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think." She looked back at Valen. "Oh god it's bad."

"I know. I tried to make it as easy on him as I could but I-" My voice broke.

"It's okay. He'll prove he cares soon, I'm sure this will only last, two days, tops." She patted my head softly.

"I don't want him in two days, I want him now."

"I know, I should've talked to you sooner." She sounded sad. "But listen, we've got something important to do, the Ashen are attacking people, killing them. We can stop that, we just need to kill Valerie, or see who she's working for and kill them."

I stood straight, wiped my eyes, and nodded.

"Alright then. Now, which way?" She smiled.

I sniffled one last time then pointed out to the west.

"A-"

"Off we go then!" Kel sped past us with a very wide stride. "No time to waste, yeah? Move it!"

I laughed, by almost instinct I looked back at Valen. My laugh went away quickly and I frowned. I looked away fast.

He looked broken and sad, he wouldn't take his eyes from the ground.

"Hey." Ashanaya whispered to me. "Talk to him, try and let him down easy again, maybe it didn't work because it was shock. Valen's a smart guy, surely he'll get it if you explain it a little bit better."

I nodded and smiled. I stopped and let the group pass until I was at Valen's side. He still didn't take his eyes from the ground, I don't think he even noticed I was there.

"Hey." I said.

He jumped and looked over at me. He didn't say anything.

"That's okay, I'll talk. I just wanted to say, I didn't mean to hurt you, I don't even really mean we can't be together." I saw a flash of hope in his eye. "I just mean I want to just take a little while and make sure that these feelings are really yours."

He didn't say anything.

"Ashanaya told me it'll probably take, two days. Tops." I smiled at him. I put my hand on his shoulder and leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

I started to walk away but his voice stopped me. "I give it a day."

I looked back and I saw the cocky smile that I'd been falling for over the past few days. "Well, until then, we don't have to be anymore distant than Ashanaya and Cullen have been being. No kissing though."

"Ooh that'll be hard." He stepped up a little closer to me, he had the same look in his eye that he'd had everytime he kissed me.

"There is," I stopped him and kept my gaze just below his head. "One thing."

"What is it?" The worry came back to his voice.

"When we get to Ganahass Mountain, there's something I'm going to do, I need for us to not be together and for you to keep your mind off of me in anyway you can. After we leave the mountain it might be best for us to never speak of it again." I spoke quickly.

"What are you gonna do?" He made me look up at him by moving my head up.

"We need the aid of the emperor, I used to live with him when I was younger, I learned a few things about him. I know one sure way to cement an alliance." I sighed.

He was quiet. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, it's not like anything serious could come from it right?" He said it calmly but his eyes were pleading for a no.

"I can't promise that, but most likely no, and god I hope I'm right on that. The emperor isn't allowed to have anything like a family anyway so I'm sure it'll be fine." I tried to sound reassuring.

"He'll fall for you, how could he not." It didn't reassure him.

"Well, he didn't drink out of a magical love well so I see plenty of ways he wouldn't. Like he'll see just how annoying I am." I smiled.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Whatever you say."