Passion (Book 1 of "The Fantasy of Life" Series)

Chapter 39

Ashanaya

"I.. don't know." I stared at Cullen blankly. I had wondered the same thing actually.

"Should we ask? Do you think he'd know?" Cullen looked over to Marhara's tent. He was already inside getting ready to sleep I assume, there was nothing else to do in the tents anyway.

"I will, he might not know anything but it'd be good to see how he feels about it." I stood up. "We should get everyone's feelings out in the open before we go to Valerie anyway."

"Good point." Cullen agreed, then he lowered his voice. "Tell me what he says, I'm curious."

I rolled my eyes and walked up to the tent. I opened the flaps on the entrance and tried to make some kind of noise to notify him of my entry but I wasn't sure that he'd heard it.

"Marhara?" I said.

I heard a low grunt and then a lot of shuffling.

"Do you think we could talk? I've got a question." I spoke slowly in case he was half asleep.

"I- Sure, it's kind of early to be sleeping anyway." He yawned, it was the kind of yawn that you really don't understand and only guys seem to have.

"Well," I climbed further into the tent and sat down. "I was just thnking about the vision Shirajiin showed us."

"Yeah, that was weird, don't think I'll forget about that anytime soon. It was hard to see everyone like that. I really didn't like how York turned out." I couldn't see his expression, it was dark in the tent.

I drew a complete blank on what York did after he was tuned Ashen in the vision. "I guess I didn't pay much attention to his."

"It was awful, whatever that thing was, it wasn't York. He was killing entire clans of nymphs. Killing parents and leaving the children to die on their own. He was really brutal with water nymphs, one of the weirdest things though, he was.. raping women. You know how York is, none of that is like him. Even is he was weird and twisted he wouldn't be like that. It was so strange, he gets angry when he fights but he seemed really upset, torn apart after he was turned, he cried through some of it." Marhara explained. "Yours was pretty scary too. You took the whole world and just, broke it, everything that anyone ever knew was in your hands and because of that stupid dragon it was all ruined. You're better than that and I know it but it's terrible to see people like that."

I didn't realise it weighed on Marhara that much, he never seemed like he cared about any of us here. To my understanding he came to keep his wife safe, and to run away from his problems. "I- I didn't know it bothered you so much."

Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. "What was your question?"

"Oh, right." I shook my head, thinking about how bad he felt shouldn't get in the way of what I wanted to do. "I was wondering if you had any idea why you weren't in the vision. If you didn't did it at least make you feel anything?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe the dragon just didn't want me. I'm not like the rest of you, I'm older, my parents never died, the worst things that happened to me was my baby didn't live and my father was human. That's nothing compared to all of you." He shrugged. "Maybe I wasn't supposed to come with you. Hopefully that dragon isn't as all knowing as it thinks it is."

"I hope so, I'd really rather not fight an all knowing lizard the size of a mountain." I said.

He laughed a little. "Lizard, never heard anyone call a dragon that before."

I smiled. "Well, they're different but they're basically lizards right?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He shifted the way he was sitting. "Anyway, as for your question, I don't know. When I didn't show up in the vision I was kind of happy cause I thought maybe I wouldn't die, but I started thinking. I'm the adult here, even if York is technically the elder now," I think that was supposed to be a joke. He didn't laugh but it kind of seemed like a joke. "I'm still the adult here, if I have to die to keep at least one of you alive then I'll do that. I think the only reason I wasn't in that vision is because those Ashen think I'm expendable, but I won't go down that easy."

"I hope not, we still need you, and I know Ceylorn still needs you."

"Thanks, but you don't need me. You're all pretty strong, and Ceyl is a strong woman, she'd be okay. But, even if you don't need me, you're stuck with me, I've been with you this long, I'm not leaving yet." I was sort of relieved from him saying that. Marhara was like a piece of home that didn't really change, it kind of kept me grounded to have him here.

"I'm glad." I started to leave the tent.

"Goodnight, Ash." I heard him speak from behind me, then he shuffled back to lay down.

"Goodnight." I said as I made it out the tent.