Help Me

Mikey's Video

Mikey

Like nearly ever day before, he blinked himself awake, confused. His heart felt heavy too, the kind of heavy that walked hand in hand with having little to no motivation to do anything. It worked its way behind his eyes, and they groggily fluttered shut.

He was so tired.

Mikey couldn't bring himself to wake up, because he knew what looks he'd be getting. As much as he appreciated that boys knowing everything, and for Rye and Andy for getting him out of that mindset, never in his whole life had he had so many people know his secrets as he did now. And never had everyone that knew wanted to help him, and stayed. His heart pounded once, and Mikey knew what he wanted to do, even though he was still scared of the attention... Of being the centre of attention.

People thought he enjoyed it, and those people couldn't be more wrong.

Because when he was the centre of attention, it made his anxiety flare up too much, and to hide it he snapped at everyone that tried to get close to him.

He wanted to make his video today, something that had been lingering at the back of his mind ever since he'd woken up that first day. Because the Roadies deserved to know why the five of them had been so absent.
Well, they already knew, but Mikey wanted to tell them all himself. In his own words. Give a bit of detail to them. Because they deserved it. Especially with the trending hashtag still going around. #getwellsoonmikey... The numbers were still climbing. He also wanted to tell them for another reason.

He wanted to tell them what the boys had done for him. He wanted to tell them how much they had grown together recently, and just how much he appreciated them right now. The boys were his saviours... The boys had stopped him from drowning, because they'd wanted to. Because they said they loved him. And he loved them too. And Rye, well...

Rye deserved the world in his eyes. Rye was his world. And Mikey wanted them to know this.

Arms pulled him closer, and Mikey sighed softly. Rye had slept beside him again. But he wasn't complaining. Ryes presence beside him chased away the bad thoughts, the nightmares, and just made everything that bit more bearable.

With a small smile Mikey pulled Ryes arms from around him, and slipped off the bed, silently groaning when he stumbled. Rye mumbled something under his breath before turning over, bunching up the covers in his arms and bringing them close to his body. He pocketed the Go-Pro, his phone, and picked up his crutches, sliding his hands onto them as silently as he could.

The other boys were all still asleep, a fact that Mikey found a miracle. He always made so much noise, unless he wasn't as loud as he thought he was? No... the boys must've all just been that exhausted. He sighed then, the exhaustion returning, but he carried on walking. He was going to make this video, and he was going to do it properly. The boys deserved that much. They'd been doing so much for him recently, and he hadn't given them anything in return.

That was going to change today.

Mikey froze when Andy turned over, blearily looking over at him.
"Where are you going?" His words were weak and quiet, and he kept on blinking tiredly. There was and underlying edge to his voice, and Mikey felt his heart clench.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" Mikey quietly walked a bit closer to Andy's bunk, so that he wouldn't have to shout, and potentially wake everyone else up.
He didn't want to be that guy.
"No I was awake before you got up mate." Andy yawned, rubbing his eyes.

Mikey hoped this had nothing to do with what had happened to him... But he knew deep down that it did.

"Alright... I'm going out to the stairs. There's something I need to do." Mikey replied, a strong yet determined set to his eyes and jaw. Well, yes, he needed to do... But this was the first thing in a long time that he felt compelled to actually pursue outside of work activities.