Help Me

Repetition and Reversal

Mikey

Mikey remembered his promise to Rye as he was quietly retching in the kitchen sink.

He had woken up in a cold sweat for the third night in a row, not telling Rye about it.
He didn't want to tell him that he wasn't getting better. In fact, he didn't know what was wrong with him. He had been on the mend, but now he could feel that worm of doubt nibbling at his insides, making his stomach crawl and twist and turn.

That was the moment where he felt the urge to throw up return every time.

What had it been? Had it been the move from flat to flat that made him uneasy? Was it the secretive nature of his and Rye's relationship that made him uneasy?
He couldn't put a finger on it, which made him all the more uneasy.

Mikey clamped a hand over his mouth, muffling the sound of the retch. The last thing he wanted to do was wake up Andy, who was completely passed out from exhaustion.

His friend had been flat out these last few weeks, spending every free second sorting out things for the band, getting a good basis done on the schedule, but making sure that every one had free time to themselves.

He was giving up his free time to get the band back on its feet, something which Mikey was grateful for, if not guilty. The guilt was fading, even if it still lingered deep down. It had been his actions that had caused this varying result, however he knew he wasn't to blame for it. As he had said before, he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He retched again, his whole body jolting with the force. He really hated this.

Mikey was half a mind to go outside again, just for some relief from these questions in his head, his thoughts, as he had done almost two months ago.

But Rye's promise echoed in his head, berating him for wanting to go out, seeing as he could easily get hurt again.

He really didn't know what the hell was happening to him. The sudden spells of dizziness and breathlessness hit him randomly during the day, or the night as the case may be; as what was happening currently. Especially if he was sleeping alone.

Only Rye could chase away the demons that followed him, that had him tied in a tight leash. But he hated to burden Rye with this all the time.

However, as he retched for the last time, Rye had made him promise to go to him. With anything. He had said that he wouldnt care what it was. "Just talk to me," he had said with a kiss on the cheek.

The darkness of the room sent shivers and chills down his spine, and he wrapped his arms around himself as he tried to warm himself up. Before heading to his boyfriend, he reached up and poured himself a glass of water; the bitter taste at the back of his throat made him stomach role again, and he wanted to get rid of it.

He drank the whole glass, leaving it on the side. As quietly as he could he made his way to the Rarvey room, taking care to not trip on anything and startle Andy.
Mikey pushed the door open, wincing when it creaked, bit sighed a bit when he saw Rye curled up like a cat, blankets tucked in, snoring lightly.

Harvey's bed lay untouched beside him, and Mikey gave it a sad look.
He knew that Rye struggled when Harvey was away, but he never really spoke about it.
Mikey knew though, and made sure to spend as much time with Rye as he could before they went to bed. However, more often that not, either Mikey or Rye would creep in and join the other, no words said.

But Rye looked so peaceful, and he really didn't want to wake up, not like this. Not because he felt uneasy, really uneasy.

Yet he had promised Rye that he would, and that promise meant something to Mikey. Rye never broken one, so why should Mikey break his?