Help Me

Blair

Mikey

None of the boys heard him re enter the flat roughly ten minutes later. It was quiet, but he could hear Andy having a conversation with one of the other boys... He didn't stay to find out who. Mikey knocked on Blair's bedroom door, heart already pounding. He walked in when Blair called out.

"Mikey?" Their manager looked confused, but at the same time pleasantly surprised to see him initiating the conversation.
Another thing he had done wrong... Push away the wrong people; his mother, Blair... Even the boys to some extent.

"Hi" Mikey failed to continue making eye contact, fixing his gaze on the floor. Why was he being so awkward around every single person that he trusted?

He was being ridiculous.

"Is everything okay Mikey?" He asked, and out of the corner of his eyes Mikey saw a frown on his face.

Mikey hated that question. Simply because it was so easy to lie, to come up with something false. And it was a question that people skimmed across, waiting impatiently for a generic answer, for example I'm fine... Something fake.
With that question, Mikey linked it to one thing; that the person didn't really know what to say. It was an easy conversation starter, yet it was one that withheld the most information. Because with that question, the recipient could choose whether or not to expand. Or to lie. And usually, the recipient chose the latter. Because that was the easiest option... They wouldn't have to talk with that option.

With that option people could hide.

When Mikey didn't respond right away Blair carried on, standing up. "Sit down Mikey... Alright, and tell me what's bothering you." He said once Mikey had sat down on the edge of Blair's bed. He laid his crutches down on the floor, failing miserably to stop his hands from trembling.

"Can I go home for a few days?" Mikey asked quietly, staring at one spot on the floor. This was ridiculous He couldn't even look Blair in the eye. But he knew why he couldn't... He wasn't proud of the reason... He was ashamed. No matter how far he had come, there were always little details that pulled him back.

Mikey envisioned a harness around his body, and every time he made too much progress, or moved too far forwards, there was someone on the other end yanking him right back. He was a puppet, being controlled by a puppeteer.

Right... Back to that reason... That reason being, that a bigger man attacked him. All he could see in Blair was that he was much stronger than Mikey, physically and mentally, no matter how hard Mikey tried to stop those thoughts. Even now, that man had affected his relationships with everyone he cared about.

Mikey was intimidated by someone he trusted... He was scared of someone that he trusted. All because he associated bigger men with being attacked... He simply associated men with being attacked.
How pathetic was he?

Pathetic.

"Well, yeah." Blair spoke, as if the answer was obvious. "But I wont be able to take you until Friday night... I've still got work to do, plus the five of you have things to do. And I'll come and pick you up early Monday morning if that's good with you?" Blair organised this all in a matter of seconds, and Mikeys chest suddenly felt tight.

That was quicker than he'd thought... Not that he was complaining or anything!
Everything was just moving so fast, too fast, and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to catch up with it all. He felt like he was lagging behind everyone else, and everyone he knew was getting further and further away from him. No... It was the puppeteer holding him back, refusing to let him move forwards alongside the boys.

Or so it felt like.

And despite wanting to go home to see his mother so badly... He didn't think he could handle it by himself. It was stupid, how he was nervous to go and see his own mother... He didn't know what the hell had changed. But he didn't feel comfortable around those in a superior position to him... A prime example of that was Blair. Yet, why was his mother in that category?