Life. I can't tell whether it's people, circumstances or everything together that make it seem like it's overall shit. There are people I want to punch, others I want to hug. Some I want to talk to for hours, others I never want to hear a fucking word from them again. (That parts not aimed at anyone)
So many things I want to do but they all seem impossible. Let's start with the dreams of the future. Any big job or sport I want I need to work for. And I mean really work for. And I don't have any problems with that. What I do hate is that to do so I need to practice and that costs a lot. Physically and mentally.
To devote yourself to something you love there are certain things you must forsake to do so. Think of it like this. Your overall ability has 3 main factors. Physical, mental and social. (Emotional is split between mental and social). To put more effort into physical you stop being able to focus on mental as much. It's for this reason that most footballers are dumb as shit. There physical factor downgrades there mental one.
My problem is that I'm trying to improve my overall ability and make everything balanced. Before hand my factors looked like this.
Physical - 40%
Mental - 45%
Social - 15%
As you can see my social was shit so my emotional state was collapsing but when I tried to fix that it became this.
Physical - 40%
Mental - 25%
Social - 35%
Looks good for Social and my emotional state had improved drastically. But then some shit happened which brought all the effort to a crashing halt.
Physical - 45%
Mental - 45%
Social - 10%
The problem with this is that these are percentages of my overall ability. Let's say before hand my OA was 500. It was brought down to about 200. So more energy went into them but they were still weaker.
If you're not understanding this then I'm sorry but this is the best way I can describe it. I'm basically saying that I feel shit and everything I do is being affected by it negatively.
Anyway bye.
Talk to me if you want but all it will do is annoy you.
🔪
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(Again not aimed)
YOU ARE READING
The Way I See It
FanfictionI've been giving a suggestion to write chapters about how I'm feeling and what's going on in my life. I have never done this before so if it's shit please don't blame me. It will also include certain problems or theories I have about various things...
