Hauntingly Beautiful Girls

"Like A TV or Movie Plot"

Staring at my face in the mirror. It is not my face. The letter that tells me this person is dying is still 'stuck' in my hand. Fingers that cling onto something without conscious direction.

Caught and confused. It makes a little sense. The soul that left when I arrived, it was grateful.

I can imagine. To see it on paper. A medical death sentence. That must be a terribly weak moment for someone.

So, it does not surprise me that I just stand still and stare into the mirror. Even when a man comes into the hall using the front door. Takes off his shoes. Walks up and hugs me from behind. Presses his face and nose to the back of my neck.

"I see the test results are back. I understand. I will go to do the final work on my grandparent's house. For the next several weeks. That will leave me completely free and undistracted to be here for you all day and every day for your last weeks.

You should go to her. Now, while you are still feeling good. There was never any reason to hide, but even less so now. Everyone knows her confession to you. No one would rebuke you two together on dates (especially now).

I always knew it was a special kindness that you accepted me. Becoming my wife with never any reservation or limit. Dutiful and hardworking, here and at your job.

Me always knowing, always, that someone else loved you devotedly. Maybe, not more than me.

But she stayed here, always at your side. Crying often, still and silently, when you weren't."

He goes away for just a short time and comes back with a heavily packed suitcase.

He hugs me again and leaves.

Every word rattles through my head. I place the paperwork on the table near the mirror.

Giggling, very softly. How very much like a soap opera.

So I take it as a clue. Dying is not something I can fix. Finding this 'other' person is something I can do.