Rosie's Diary

They're Coming

October 1, 2001 - 7:15 am

Thank God September is over. I never want to hear the word 'September' again.

October 19, 2001 - 7:26 am

Ummmm. . . . I would like to report, I've been having phone sex with Jomaya for the last 3 nights.

1) Who am I?

2) Why didn't someone tell me about this option before?

October 20, 2001 - 3:10 am

Uh, I would also like to report, since I started having phone sex with Jomaya, I've been having great conversations with June. Tonight we took shots and talked about communism. I know! Who knew phone sex, combined with a steady following of the world's news would lead to chill out moments with June where my heart isn't squeezing itself to death? AND when our new friend Mallory came over the conversation morphed into an interesting one about racial profiling. Jesus Christ, who am I?

October 22, 2001 - 8:10 pm

Guess what. Daddy and AC are coming to see me in November. I have the terrorist attack to thank for this. Did I tell you Daddy wanted to drive all the way from LA and take me home right after it all happened? Well he did and I wanted to let him, but AC wasn't having it. She said I was going to stay in school if she had to hog-tie Daddy to a chair until graduation. So instead he called to check on me every 60 seconds, which meant AC was calling every 120 seconds to make sure I was still enrolled. Well, last week, I told AC if either of them called to check on me again, I was leaving school no matter what she said. The threat bought me 4 days of peace and then Daddy calls this morning and says he wants to come see, "how New York is doing," and he will bring Jomaya along if I want. Of course, I wanted to crack up laughing 'til I peed my pants, but I kept my shit together. He thinks he's flying my new BFF up to see me. He has NO IDEA what he's doing.

AC isn't thrilled about it, but agrees I should take him up on the offer because he's trying to be his old self with me. She's right. And if coming here to check on my well-being with Jomaya as a gift, helps him then wonderful. My guess is, we'll do a little bit of the tourist thing, and eat out a lot. He'll go home less worried about my safety, and I'll continue my plan to graduate, get the fuck out of Brooklyn and live my life doing something else. Far away from here with my eyes wide open.

You know what I should say to Daddy? No matter what he does, I'm not safe anywhere. The news is proof. People are vulnerable to attack everywhere and the sooner he understands, the better off he will be. I've gotten to this state of mind where no one can surprise me with terrible information anymore because I already know how terrible everything is. Of course our own fucking airplanes killed us. It's because TSA regulations are a joke. I am not going to be naïve about anything ever again.

November 1, 2001 - 3:20 am

Halloween.

Paige was a sexy cop, June was a marionette doll, Chad was Harry Potter, which frankly made me want to kill myself, HOW DARE HE!, and Mallory was the Energizer bunny. I was nothing. I refused to participate, to care, to engage . . . and then I got wasted, stole a boa from a guy passed out on a stoop, and started telling anyone who asked me what I was for Halloween— that I was an alcoholic.

November 8, 2001 - 7:26 am

Holy shit! June broke up with Douche Bag Chad last night. The fucker cheated and she said, See Ya! HA! I am so happy about this! I knew it! That asshole!

7:29 am

Hi.

Being excited about her break up is a waste of time because why do I care? I don't! Journal, please forgive my momentary lapse.

Strike a match, light it, walk away. Strike a match, light it, walk away.

11:35 pm

After Boss and I do our thing over the phone I ask her if she's having actual sex with anyone.

"At the moment, umm no?"

"Well, duh, I mean, are you seeing anyone?" I press.

"I'm never seeing anyone."

"I mean, do you have someone you're messing around with on a casual, but regular basis, you know . . ."

"Yeah, you," Boss says.

"Right, but no one else?"

"What is it you want to ask me, Rosie? Are you wanting to get serious or something?"

"NO! God no!" I almost shout. "I don't, this is, I just wanted to know if you had someone you are into there, you know, you're coming to visit and I wondered how serious it was, if there is someone."

"There's no one here I'm serious about, and if there was, I'd have already told you."

"Okay, cool!" I say as calmly as possible. "So you and me, when you're here, it's going to be us, together and everything."

"We aren't together."

"Oh, great! Good, that's all I want, I mean, I was just checkin' in."

It wasn't the smoothest way to figure out what Jomaya's expectations of me are going to be when she comes to visit next week, but I needed to know if she was going to be all over me or not since my dad is going to be here. If she was seeing someone else then we could be strictly friend-friends and not be touchy, or flirty, or anything while she's here. I don't want my dad to catch us, you know.

November 15, 2001 - 5:26 pm

My LA life arrived about an hour ago. I'm sitting in the hotel bar waiting for them to freshen up before we go to dinner. It's weird having Daddy here. He's a talking deer in headlights. What is that? What is this? What have we here? Now tell me about this? Can you believe that? I admit-- I did the same when Mama brought me here to audition for college. Every little thing wowed me, but I don't know if I was quite as obvious as he's being. He's kind of embarrassing me.

You know what this makes me remember? Even though Mama had never been here either, she owned the city. She knew exactly how everything worked—the subway, hailing a cab, all of it. I remember being impressed with her. She was awesome on that trip.

All right, I gotta go, they are coming across the lobby. P.S. AC is wearing this badass leather jacket, dark jeans and boots. She looks more lesbo than ever and I love it!

* * *

(✿ ♥‿♥)

More to come...

To all my fellow lezzies, gays, queers, pans, aces, transqueens, kings & everyone in between. I see you. <3

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Rosie's Diary. Copyright © 2013 Jai//Em

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