August 19, 2001 - 9:14 am
This morning I told Daddy I was hesitant to go to church for no other reason than I haven't been there since Mama's funeral. He said he understood.
So yeah . . . I used the dead mother card on my own father to avoid a church service.
If there is a hell, I just bought my first class ticket.
August 20, 2001 - 11: 01 pm
Jomaya thinks I should look at going back to school as an acting job. Play the role of determined Rosalee and give the people what they want.
"Who says you have to direct a play you absolutely love? Direct anything, do it well enough to pass, and get out of there." Jomaya shrugs like it's that simple.
"That's kind of brilliant."
"But don't embarrass yourself, chica. It's gotta be adequate work."
"Yeah . . . Okay, yeah."
She's sitting at the end of my bed wearing my Chicago Bulls t-shirt. She's been at my house pretty much the entire week. You know, your run-of-the-mill, weeklong girls slumber party, except we aren't 11, we're in our 20s. My God, how my father doesn't know I will never understand.
"Can I ask you for some more advice?" I say.
"Always."
"When I get back. How . . . do I handle my June situation."
"Situation?" Jomaya narrows her eyes and smirks.
"Yeah."
"You mean obsession," she says.
"Sorta, kinda obsession."
"Worship then?"
"You think I worship her?" I ask, horrified.
"Burn it."
"What?"
"Strike a match, light it, walk away. Take a picture to remember her by and burn that house down," Jomaya says with authority.
I kiss her and pretend I understand exactly what she means.
August 25, 2001 - 11:43 pm
Holy Christ, okay. So, my father comes home tonight with a pizza and movie from the video store. He takes the pizza and a few plates to the coffee table and pops in the rental. To our delight/confusion/horror, the movie is "Boys on the Side."
Does he know what he rented? Does he want us to join him? Is he going to freak when Whoopi reveals she's a lesbian? If we don't join him and Whoopi reveals she's a lesbian, will he know we already knew, and that's why we didn't join him? If we do join him WILL Whoopi actually reveal she's a lesbian because movies can change spontaneously to avoid awkward gay moments with homophobic family members, right, that's a thing, right?
Very calmly, Jomaya, AC and I join him on the couch. We give each other a nod. It's understood we might have to kill him.
The best part . . .
He was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo into it.
We cried, he cried, we all fucking cried and not a word was mentioned about Whoopi's love for Mary-Louise Parker. All he said was, "Man, that was a heartbreaker." HA!
August 28, 2001 - 6:22 pm
This morning AC came to my room and stated that under no circumstance was Jomaya to make another late night naked trip to the fridge for string cheese. She was livid, and I get it— she doesn't want anything to derail our progress with Daddy. And yeah, finding out he's been living with THREE lesbians for the past couple weeks would be a problem, but he's not going to figure it out!
September 5, 2001 - 6:12 am
About 5 minutes ago Jomaya climbed out of my window. Before she can run to her car parked down the block, I take her hand. I ask if we're still on the same page.
"Absolutely."
"Are you sure? Because the last few hangouts with Dee have been scary. She wants me dead."
"Dee's trying to . . . Look, don't worry about her, We're good."
"Okay, but."
"Rosalicious," she says, kissing me. "I have a date tomorrow night."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. I'm good. We're good. Go to school, have fun. Miss me."
She kisses me again and hurries across the grass, gorgeous hair flying behind her. Journal, I want you to know I'm so happy she was my first.
8:40 am
My cell phone rings and guess who it is? Lorraine.
"Rosalinda, I am calling to make sure you're getting on a plane today, young lady."
"I have no choice. Aunt Conny threatened me."
"Good. Only thing worse than wasting potential is wasting money. Especially over something as silly as you being scared of New York."
"I'm not scared of New York."
"Course you are. You've been happy this summer and now you're scared you'll go back and forget all about your mother's passing and your father grief, and dance into that lovely New York City sunset. And to some extent, honey, that's what you need to do."
I want to hug her. "My God, every time I talk to you, you make me wish you were my mother."
"One mother is enough, trust me," Lorraine says. She tells me to call her whenever I want, and to be safe. Before I hang up I reassure her I'm doing much better than I was a year ago. All she says is, "Prove it. Go be somebody."
Seriously. Lorraine for president.
* * *
(' ᴗ｀✿)
More to come...
To all my fellow lezzies, gays, queers, pans, aces, transqueens, kings & everyone in between. I see you. <3
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Rosie's Diary. Copyright © 2013 Jai//Em
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Rosie's Diary
General Fiction19-year-old Rosie drinks, swears, cries, studies, rehearses, lies, confesses, smokes weed and rants all over New York City. But all she really wants to do is love June.
