Rosie's Diary

Mama

December 20, 2001 - 4:14 pm

I show up unannounced at Aunt Conny's door and all she says is, "It's about time."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I thought you'd be here arguing your way through the turkey dinner."

"I had to prepare."

"Fine, we'll do it over the ham instead," AC said gesturing for me to come inside.

"Great!" I say, "But no arguing, no yelling. I'm here to sort this out with my speaking voice, once and for all."

"Well, all right," AC says. "We will get this done."

"Not we. Just me. You've gone through enough. I got it."

I freshened up, the two of us went to lunch and now I'm wiped. Gonna take a quick nap and then go to my house and COME OUT to my father. Mission Ho Ho Homosexual is a go. Wish me luck!

December 21, 1:13 am

Picture it. Yesterday. Me standing on the front porch. Daddy's eyes full of tears.

"Merry almost Christmas, Daddy. Can I come in?"

"Yes baby, come in."

The house is a mess. Watch pieces and model plane parts cover the dining table. Old newspapers piled up, dishes everywhere but the sink. It's not as bad as his motel room, but give it a few more days and it would be.

"My God, what have you been doing in here?"

"It's under control. Give me a second. Where's your stuff?"

"At Aunt Conny's."

"You saw her already?"

"Yep."

He hurries around cleaning up and I decide to go to my room and rehearse what I'm going to say:

We're both adults and should be able to have a civil conversation.

I'm a lesbian and it isn't a choice, OR coercion, OR the end of the world.

If he flips out, I will not get angry.

I will NOT push him, because Mission Ho Ho Homosexual is about patience and understanding.

And most importantly I will not let anything he says or doesn't say set me back. Aunt Conny has promised me my schooling won't be affected and I always have a home with her. I will continue to move forward.

There's a knock on my bedroom door. It's AC. "I'm sorry but I could not let you do this without me here."

I roll my eyes. "Fine, but not a word. You are a fly on the wall, no matter what I say, agreed?"

"Um hm."

"Agreed?"

"What you think um hm means?" AC snaps.

"Lovely. Now, what's he doing in there?"

"He's a cleaning madman. Let me help him out, you stay in here. I'll butter him up."

"No, see, I don't need a warm up act. Help him clean up, and I'll be out there in 10 minutes."

"I'll do as I damn well ple—" I shut the door in her face and smile. I'm happy she showed up.

After 15 minutes (I got nervous) I emerge from my room. AC is sitting at the kitchen table and Daddy is on the stoop out back. I give her a thumbs up and join him.