Bitter Sweet

Chapter One

I feel my lungs expand as I inhale deeply, enjoying the beginning of fall. I slowly open my eyes and look at my surroundings, the wind is steadily blowing and there is a certain crispness to the air that wasn't there a week ago.
"Ally!" I jump a little at the sound of my name and turn around to see my best friend running towards me. She quickly stops running and walks the rest of way, exaggerating her pain from a little exercise. She plops down next to me on the bench and drops her backpack to the ground near her feet, "Watcha doin?"
"Nothing much, just waiting on your slow ass" I smile as her jaw drops and she attempts to act hurt, she hits me on the arm and makes her defense, "Well, while I was being slow, I got to talk to that cutie from physics"
"David? How did you manage that?"
"He dropped his pen so I picked it up and gave it back but of course when he said thanks I took the opportunity to talk more, he was like "oh. Thanks" and then I was like "yeah no problem, how are you liking senior year?" And he said that he hasn't really liked it that much and I asked why and he just said it's complicated and he asked what about me and I told him that I loved it, then he said he had to run and I was like okay, talk to you later"
I laughed, "Oh, you made it sound like y'all had some kinda deep conversation"
"For him? That is deep. That boy is the best looking guy in school yet talks to NO ONE"
I stared behind her focusing on the trees, David Macade came here at the beginning of the school year and hasn't had a full conversation with anyone... that we know of.
"Yeah, I guess you're right"
Hailey grabs the strap of her backpack, "Well, are you ready to head out?"
I stand with her, "Yeah, right behind ya."

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My name is Allison Weeks. I am 18 years old, and a senior in Blue Hills Highschool, although not for long. I graduate in 3 and a half months and have no clue what I'm going to do. I have considered the military, although I have a tendacy to break under pressure so...not my thing. I have considered college, but... What would I study? I have no interests. My best friend Hailey Daniels is going to college to study forensics, which sounds awesome but I know I wouldn't understand it. I live with my mom, who sticks to herself these days, my father died when I was 4 years old in a car accident. Funny thing, to call something an accident when it was actually due to some reckless drunk driver. I know I need to do something, because I know my mom is looking forward to not having to take care of me any longer. It's just, senior year has hit me like a train, I feel as if I'm frozen in time and nothing makes sense. Although, I am lucky in one sense, I have a boyfriend that is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. I love him with every fiber of myself and I know that if I didn't have him I would be in a much worse state of mind.
As Hailey pulls up to my simple little home, I grab my stuff and hop out of the truck, "Thanks love"
"See ya tomorrow morning hottie"
I laugh and wave as she pulls off, we have such a goofy friendship. I look in the drive way, mom isn't home yet. I jog up the front steps and set my bag on the ground, digging for my house keys. When I finally find them I unlock the door and rush inside, closing and locking it behind me. The house is silent as a tomb, per usual. I drop my stuff on the floor of my room and fall on my bed, letting out a huge sigh. "What am I gonna do?" I lay there, as if I'm waiting for someone to answer me. But of course, they don't.
I jump up at the sound of someone knocking on the door, Mom wouldn't knock. I quietly sneak to the door and look through the peek hole.
It's Mitchell, my boyfriend. I smile and fumble to open the door and rush into his open arms, "What are you doing here?!" He smiles and hands me a tacobell bag, "I just got back in town and wanted to see you, I also thought you'd like some tacos" he gestures to the bag I'm now holding. I pull him inside and shut the door, "Yes! You always know what I need before I do." We drop onto the couch and I begin to dig into my tacos, my mouth is already watering. I glance at him as I begin to pour some hot sauce on an opened taco, "So how was the trip?"
He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out, which always makes me feel weak, although I have no clue as to why, "It was good, your typical Yuites family reunion. We had the druggie cousins, the feuding siblings, the whole lot"
I smile while chewing, "Well," I swallow before I sound any more unattractive "tell me some typical stories from this Yuites family reunion."
"Well, when my Aunt Catherine got there she took one look at my mom and started cursing, which in turn made my mom start cursing. My grandma had told them both that the other cancelled" we both laugh a little, "Aunt Catherine called my mom a crackwhore and my mom picked up somesort of knickknack off the table and started walking to her but dad quickly pulled her back and took it from her hand, then mom told Aunt Catherine that she smoked weed not crack and that she wasn't the one that sucked the whole football teams dicks in highschool" I choke, and start laughing,
"Oh my god, that is too funny, I would kill to have been a fly on the wall"
He laughs and smiles, "Yeah, I definitely needed some popcorn the whole weekend."

We talk some more about the reunion as I finish my tacos. I love watching him and listening to him talk, it just makes me feel all bubbly inside. We've been dating for almost 2 years and I've never felt so close with someone. He took my virginity in literally everything, I have never even touched another guy. Yeah, I dated a lot of jerks before him, but I never did stuff with them. Before I met him, I kept telling myself I was giving up on love. Yeah yeah, I know I'm too young to talk like that, but I really felt as if I had had it with relationships and guys.
Mitchell sits up and stretches, "Well, I better go, I have some stuff to do before the day is gone"
I stand with him, "Alright, sad that you have to go so early" we hug and kiss and I stand at the door as he walks to his car. Damn, I'm so lucky.
After he pulls away I stand there staring at the trees, my mind wandering when my moms beat up, silver suv turns into the drive. She steps out and slams the door, talking to herself. My stomach starts churning as I wonder how she's going to act towards me. "Hey Mom, what's wrong?"
She pushes past me, "This damn manager of mine is so fucking inconsiderate, I told her that I wasn't feeling good and wanted to go home early so she made STAY LATER to help stock shit. Bitch."
I shut the door gently, "Oh I'm sorry, do you want me to get you anything, is it a cold or-?"
"Not your damn fault, and no I'm fine. I stopped off and got some soup for myself, you'll have to eat whatever is in the kitchen because I don't feel like cooking"
In my mind I'm glad that Mitchell brought me tacos, I find as time passes my mom is less interested in meeting my needs, maybe she's trying to prepare me for the real world? Who knows...
"That's okay, I'll just head to my room and start on some homework"
I wait a second for her to say something, but she begins to open up her soup so I just turn and walk to my room. Sometimes I feel so lonely even though I have Hailey and Mitchell. Part of me just wants a family,... a fully functioning family that cares about eachother. But as each day passes, I know I'll never get that from my mom.
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I'm reading a book for my literature class when I hear my mom yelling for me from the living room, "Allison! Allison! Come here!"
I sigh and roll off my bed, "Coming Mom!"
I quickly make my way into the living room where my mother is sprawled across the couch watching her investigation shows that she loves so much, she mutes the T.V., still glancing at it to see whats happening and motions for me to sit down. I ease into a chair facing her, "Yeah? What's up?"
She finally puts her full attention on me, "Look, I need to talk to you about something."
I nod my head, waiting for her to go on, wondering what she could possibly want to talk about. Maybe she is going to apologize for the way she's been acting? Maybe I could have that sweet family after all?
"You're about to graduate highschool, and I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm telling you that you need to figure it out quickly"
My brow furrows in confusion, that was definitely not an attempt to have a good relationship with me, "Yes, I've been working on that, why?"
She frowns slightly at me, "Well you need to work harder, because I can't always take care of you and I'm not going to give you a luxury that I never had, so you have one month after you graduate to be out of this house. I don't care where you go."
I sit there stunned, as if I had just been slapped, "Wh-what?! You've always told me that th-this was my home for as long as I needed it!"
"Yeah, and you don't need it right now, you could work hard to be out on your own if you tried"
My heart starts beating, I feel like it's going to burst out of my chest, what will I do? "But mom if you could just give me a little bit longer to get something situated I co-"
"No!" She slams her hand on the coffee table, she's sitting upright now, "I said you have one month after graduation and that is it! You should have been working on figuring this out, it isn't that hard."
I lose my temper slightly, "Well obviously it is hard if you're just a cashier at the local grocery store!"
She squints her eyes at me, "Listen here you little bitch, I'm in the position I'm in because I had a child to raise and no man to help me raise it, you don't have a kid AND you have a guy, so I don't wanna hear any excuses from you. Why don't you see if your little boyfriend will take you in, he seems to be well off in the money department."
I sit back in the chair, I feel like the world is on my chest. My mother has never called me a name like that, and she definitely never would have kicked me out in such a cruel way. I don't know what has happened to her, but I doubt the old her is ever coming back. "Is that all?"
"Yeah, that's all."
I quietly stand up and walk to my room, everything feels like it is fake, is this a nightmare that I'll wake up from? All I have is a parttime job at a local restaurant, I can't make it off of that. I sit on my bed and hold my head in my hands, this is not happening to me. It can't be. I lay on my side and pull my pillow against my face as the tears come, soon I'm sobbing like there is no tomorrow. I don't know if it's because I have nothing to do, or if it's because I feel like my own mother doesn't love me anymore.