My Best friends' Brother

10

Besh, naaadik ako sa Hole.lo ng voodoo. Bwisit na game yun! Dun naubos time ko. Sorry tagal update. Nagadik sa laro eh. Mwaps!

Promises

"I was just kidding." A playful smile can now be seen on his pretty face.

Nang matapos ni Dos sabihin na magiging mas masaya si Tito Jaime kung ako ang magiging jowa niya ay binawi niya rin agad at sinabing nagbibiro lang siya. An awkward laugh came from me. Sa totoo lang, tumayo ang balahibo ko sa ginawa niya.

Nakakaloka! I felt my cheeks heating up with that thought. Ang awkward naman kasi ng joke nya and he's too close for my liking. Mabuti na nga rin na umalis din siya after noon.

Ang napansin ko kay Dos lately is that he's doing the opposite of what he is saying and I think it's a bad thing. Tulad na lang noong sinabi niya noong nasa falls kami na mag start kami ulit dahil nararamdaman niyang uncomfortable ako sa kaniya tapos noong nakauwi na kami ay may parang pa-riddle pa siyang sinabi na inaagaw niya raw kay Wacks iyong mga bagay bagay pag gusto niya.

Bakla rin ba si Dos? Ang mga gusto kasi ni Wacks, ay iyong mga neutral sa pambabae at panlalaki. Wacks loves the things in paper-thin-differences and in-betweens.

Siyempre mag a-assume ako na ako iyon di ba? Pero nakamove on na ako kasi baka sher niya lang. Tapos nitong kanina lang, hindi niya ako pinapansin ever since nagpunta kami sa falls. Inexpect ko na rin naman na magiging busy siya. Silang lahat to be exact. He doesn't even talk to me kapag nandyan ang family nila. Medyo na-shookt nga ako kanina noong nagpunta talaga siya sa kusina para lang magbiro ng ganoon. Naramdaman ko ring interesado siya sa akin in the way he said those things but again, baka asyumera lang talaga ako.

Alam niyang jowabels ko yung brother niya pero ganoon siya sa'kin. Di ba? He does the opposite of what he says kaya hindi na tuloy ako sure ngayon kung asyumera lang ako talaga o magulo lang siyang kausap talaga.

I smell trouble in the making. I'm so afraid that I might like his kuya. We'd be so fucked up if ever. Hindi ko pa nga ba gusto ang kuya niya?

Noong isang gabi, I touched myself where Dos had touched me. Under the shower, I touched my neck. Napapikit ako at inalala iyon. Iyong para bang missing puzzle piece ang kamay niya sa katawan ko. Dahan dahan ko namang hinaplos ang buhok ko pababa sa aking tenga at papunta muli sa leeg. It wasn't much body interaction with him but I feel like it's a part of me now and I am now longing and wanting it again. More of it. On different parts of my body. I sighed. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang lagaslas ng tubig sa katawan ko. Ang dapat na malamig na tubig at naging mainit sa pakiramdam ko. I was like Elsa, the cold never bothered me but something else... Do I like him or I like the way he make me feel?

I think I really need to confess to Wacks and tell him everything before it gets out of hand. What if it gets out of hand? I don't want Wacks' plans to turn into fiasco just because I can't control the tension I am creating over his brother. Ako ba talaga iyon o si Dos ang nagkecreate ng tension sa akin? Hindi na talaga ako sure. How can a supposed to be fun filled vacation and meet-with-the-parents-shit turned out like this? I sighed.

I was seating on the edge of my bed battling with my soul and mind. Charot! Soul and mind talaga?

I know na busy si Wacks ngayon dahil bukas na iyong auction. Maipapagpabukas ko pa ba iyong confession ko? Will it not be too early or too late? Kailangan ko nanaman bang mag promise sa kaniya? Naalala ko nanaman tuloy iyong mga panahon when he made me promise.

Wacks had this weird way of making promises. Bagong beshies pa lang kami ni Wacks when he confessed that he's gay. He asked me, "Do you promise to keep my secret until death do us part?" He was extending his arm and his right pinky finger was reaching out for a pinky promise.

It was so weird because we are inside of the Sta. Clara church, in front of the altar. I was wearing a white princess dress kasi sabi niya nga ay pupunta kami sa simbahan at magkukumpisal siya. There's this round gazebo-like near the entrance where Mother Mary stands. Doon nagaalay ng mga itlog at sampaguita ang nga nananampalataya sa kaniya.

In all honesty, akala ko, sasabihin sa akin ni Wacks na gusto niya akong ligawan in front of God. That would've been the best confession in my life.

Hindi ako makapaniwala noong una pero nang makahuma na ako ay napaisip ako na hindi naman niya gagawin ito kung hindi totoo di ba? Hindi niya sasabihin sa akin sa simbahan kung hindi totoo. Maybe he respects me that much na gusto niyang maging saksi si God sa pag amin niya sa bestfriend niya.

I am looking at him like an amused child now. I tilted my head to the side. "You brought me here just to pinky promise?" I asked.

"Yes! Girl, stop grinning like a cheshire cat. You have to pinky promise!" He exclaimed in a girly manner.

"Okay! Yes, I do." I said in submission.

Another one was that time na may bini-bj siya na nahuli ko siya. He chased me the day after ko siyang makita sa ganoong sitwasyon. Hindi niya talaga ako hinabol after ko tumakbo noon. Nakakaloka! Inuna niya pa iyon kesa sa bestfriend niya. L*bog is lifer!

Pinuntahan niya ako sa coffee shop noon at nagsorry kinabukasan. Hindi ko siya pinapansin noon kasi nagdedemand din siya na magsorry ako. Like, para saan? Lalo akong nairita, hindi ko siya kinausap ng sumunod na araw. Kaya noong ikatlong araw, ni-semi kidnap niya ako - kinaladkad palabas ng unit ko at dinala sa chapel na malapit sa condo ko.

"Isla, I know I did something wrong in front of you, pero hindi naman kasi mangyayari iyong kung kumatok ka —"

I was so pissed that I didn't let him finish what he was saying. I honestly wanted to punch him then wring his sexy neck. "Aba'y ga—"

"Bawal magmura! Nasa chapel tayo."

I frowned even more, "Look, wala akong pake sa nakita ko. Nagulat lang ako kaya ako tumakbo pero para sabihin mo na magsorry ako? Baliw ka ba? Eh ikaw ang nagpapunta sa akin sa bahay mo!"

"Okay beshie, I was wrong. I'm sorry." He said with all sincerity from his words and eyes kaya umoo na ako.

"Do you promise to keep this to yourself and if possible, kalimutan na rin? I know bestie kita pero I feel uncomfortable na may nakakaalam na ganoon ako. Maybe in time, kapag ready na ako." Naiintindihan ko naman siya. Hindi naman nakakadiri iyong ginawa niya. I find it normal pero syempre, alam ng lahat na lalaki siya tapos may makakakita ng ganoong eksena. Nahihiya rin siguro siya.

"I will try to forget it too. Yes, I do promise to keep it to myself."

Tapos this lastest "important" secret that he asked me to pinky promise was about tita Silvia suggesting that maybe I can pretend as his girlfriend this was way way before he asked me to be his pretend girlfriend and he didn't liked the idea before until napressure na siguro siya kay tito Jaime kaya he asked me na.

Saktong napadaan kami sa isang sementeryo noon when he decided to stop by. I asked him if we're going to visit a grave of a relative. He didn't answer, but was still walking until we saw a mausoleum with a big cross outside. We stood there.

"Isla, do you promise to be silent about my mom's idea? Cause I don't want her being dragged on this when dad and kuya finds out. Baka mag away sila ni dad. I don't want that. I will take all the blame. Whatever happens, do you promise?" He asked out of desperation. Pakiramdam kasi ni Wacks ay si tita Silvia na lang ang mayroon sa kanya dahil ang atensyon daw ng kanyang daddy ay laging nasa kuya niya.

I actually don't get it. I think it's pure hypocrisy that we make promises in front of an altar or a cross about lying to someone. Even that "cross my heart" churva. Parang nagsasabi ako ng "Yes, I do." sa kasinungalingan. Like, "oo sige, magsinungaling tayo." in front of God and that's just sad. Also, promises nowadays are meant to be broken. Nagiging worthless promise tuloy ang dating but because I love Wacks as my bestie, I would never want to hurt and disappoint him. In this lifetime, he's all I have. I may have my relatives but he's more of a family to me.

I just sighed, "Yes, I do."

After ng kaonting throwback sa past, nakapagdecide na ako. Sasabihin ko na lang kay Wacks after ng auction. Ayaw ko rin kasing masira ang mood niya. Araw niya iyon and I'll give him that. Baka sakaling umuwi na rin kami agad after.