To Share You (manxman)

Chapter 44

It's a tense few hours and the fact that we don't hear any news at all doesn't make it any better. We tried sleeping, which we couldn't, made food we struggled to keep down and eventually just settled to pacing.

'Should we go meet them?' I ask, more to myself than to Raph really, but I get an answer anyway.

'It's too dangerous, we don't know why those rogues suddenly disappeared.'

'Should we go to the pack house then?' This time, he only raises an eyebrow, asking a silent question. I know it's stupid to ask, we'd just drive everyone up the wall and those little spies would figure us out in no time.

I sigh and keep walking. There's not a massive amount of space in here, but I know if I'm out there I'll run to where they are right now. I'm excited, but there's so many worries in my head, I can barely keep up. This little rescue mission, as we've come to call it, could potentially have massive negative repercussions for our new pack and Alpha Marc's relations to other packs in general. We also have no idea how our former Alpha will react to this at all, or his pack members that apparently don't listen to him, for that matter. There's also the worry whether they'd even be able to leave their land in the first place and if they do, how far they'll get. No one knows what happened to those rogues. I suddenly wish I hadn't insisted. I should have waited for the Alpha's judgement and his decision, instead I pushed the issue and now I feel guilty. I also made Raph a promise I'm suddenly not too sure if I can keep and it's almost tearing me apart.

'Can you stop pacing? You're making me nervous.' Raph interrupts my train of thought. I stop in the middle of the room and look at him. All this time I couldn't quite understand how he was keeping so calm, but now I can see how tense he really is. His hands are fisting the bed spread he's sitting on like his life depends on him and I can see him concentrating on his breathing. His eyes are closed and his eyebrows furrowed above them.

'I'm sorry.' I say quietly and kneel in front of him. My hands automatically reach for his face, gently rubbing my thumbs over his cheeks and simultaneously trying to calm myself down a bit. My eyes are closed, just like his and I concentrate on his controlled breaths to match my own to. Eventually I feel his hands cover mine in a strong grip and him shifting until I feel his forehead touch mine.

'I love you.' he whispers. I slowly open my eyes, almost caught off guard by the emotional energy I can feel coming from him, only to see him already having his eyes trained on mine. His face is entirely serious and all he does is stare at me with his hands firmly holding my wrists.

'I love you.' he repeats, his eyes not even wavering a little bit. It's so overwhelming I almost want to avert my eyes, but I don't find the strength to even do that as he holds them captive.

'You are everything to me, Donovan, everything. I love you.'

At this point, I have a few tears running down my face, and I know it's because somehow, a giant mountain of stress just fell off my shoulders. I can't form words, nor can I think clearly and I can't even move. All that's left is looking into Raph's eyes and understanding the silent gratitude and love in his eyes that no doubt is reflected in my own as well.

I don't know how long we sit there like this, but eventually he pulls me up to straddle him. It's a little difficult with his baby bump, but I somehow manage to get onto his lap like he wants me to. I lean my head onto his shoulder and peer down to where out little baby is resting.

'I love you too.' I finally say, placing a little kiss to his neck.

'Thank you for giving us a baby to love, too.' I add. At this he pulls me to him, almost crushing me in the process, but I can only chuckle at it.