Rationale // Jenlisa [BOOK 2/3 - COMPLETED]

chapter fourteen | one in a million

Waking up to the sound of my alarm clock, I suddenly felt my heart sinking as I remembered something about today's agenda and that alone made me sad at this time around.

Take note, it was just dawn and I was still shaking off slumber from my system.

Today is the day.

I sat up and yawned, stretching my arms and legs as part of my habits in the morning, fixing my bed in the process. I remembered the things that circulated the past few months regarding Jennie Kim and I can't believe that I'm finally doing this, that I'm finally ending this.

I'm finally revealing myself as Lalisa Manoban in a unique way and I'm finally saying goodbye.

Like what other people say, I feel bittersweet at this moment. I looked back on the five emails that I've sent to her personal account and noticed how long and far it has been and reached. It all started when my friends and I planned the inverted séance to the supermodel on a local bar in Thailand and ending it with just myself. Looking back, I've seen myself grow and become matured. Looking after someone and having them as one of your responsibilities will surely make you grow at some point in your life.

Standing up, I looked at myself in the mirror and fixed my appearance. You, the one who fell inlove with someone that you shouldn't, I'm proud of you. You've cared for her even from afar, picked to just die than to let her know what you're feeling because you were scared of losing of that strong friendship that you two had, that alone is what you call sacrificial love.

Wearing a hoodie and sweatpants with my slippers after taking a hot shower, I head out and took a cab that will take me to the place where I graduated. The place where my love for Jennie Kim grew and the place where I got to spend my last moments with her before Lisa died.

Pseudocide was her father's order so what else can I even do about it.

Entering the campus with my alumni card and greeting sunsaengnim Kwangsoo who was drinking coffee, my objectives for today was to make a trail down to our memory lane and go to the field to see the sunset. Nostalgia was the first feeling I felt. It felt so odd, though.

Upon sunset, I'll send her the last and final email, which was the sixth one.

Having an imaginary map on my head, I went first to my building, the photography department, which was well known for the two trees on its entrance. It was also the building where Seulgi and I would run around during free cut like little kids. This building was the place that shaped the future that I have now with photography.

Walking down the hallway, it was kind of scary since it was just five in the morning. With the help of sunsaengnim Kwangsoo, I was able to go inside the campus. My hands trailed the bulletin boards, with closed eyes as my brain made some fast viewing of flashbacks.

I stopped as I opened my eyes. I was already at the lockers. Locker 27, I tried to open it with the said passcode and it opened. It was summer vacation that time so no one had occupied the locker yet.

Turning on the flashlight from my phone, I looked at the locker and saw some familiar writings on it.

Kang Seulgi = tiger

That was written on my handwritting. Looking at the bottom of it, it was Seulgi's handwriting.

Lalisa Manoban = grasshopper

I laughed as I remembered the background behind these writings. We were sophomores that time and was teasing each other from a presentation. Seulgi teased me as a grasshopper, for I was given the role of that insect on a certain play and she was the tiger. I didn't know what play was that but we still had a good time.