In Time

-Two-

12 April 2017, Wednesday

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"Mum, I'm home," I announced matter-of-factly as I shut the main door.

"Xave, you're back, how was school dear?"

School was depressing. Our principal called for a school assembly in the middle of lessons and broke the news of Diana's death to us. I guessed because it happened so suddenly, most of us were shocked and uneasy throughout the most part of his speech. It was almost as if Diana was still doing spins and splits in the air as her team of cheerleaders tossed her up during Homecoming last Friday. And she was gone in a blink of an eye.

"School was okay, boring stuff," I mumbled, throwing my bag onto the couch.

"Well, how are your grades then? Today's results day right?" Mum really wasn't going to let me off.

"65%."

"That's better than last year I suppose. I'm sure you'll do better if you put your heart to it."

But I did put my heart to it. I completed my assignments on time, stayed up late to revise, made use of all of my travel time on the bus to study. And it only warranted me a 3% increase in grades from last year. I tried, but it made no difference in the end. Yet some people like Jon and George could spend a whole season with their football tournaments and still secure stellar grades in the end. Why did I even bother?

"Mum, what if I told you I'd studied? What if I studied and it was useless?"

Sometimes I got frustrated at myself for being stupid. If only I had half of Jon's or George's intelligence.

"Then you can tell yourself that you've tried your best. Xave darling, you need to believe in yourself..." Mum cooed.

"But sometimes the best just isn't good enough," I cut her off, making a beeline for my room.

I winced as a sudden pain shot up my leg.

"Xave, is it hurting again..."

Mum would always be able to read me. But I didn't want to deal with her fussing all over me right now.

"It's nothing, I'm just tired, please let me be alone."

I shut the door.

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13 April 2017, Thursday

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I slung my violin case over my shoulder, making my way down the corridor to the orchestra rehearsal room. As much as all of us preferred to deny it, Diana's death was probably the only thing that kept cropping up in our minds last night. Or for me at least.

I had always frequented the lake at Crestbridge Park. Whenever I felt stressed or frustrated, I would go to the lake to wind down. Something about the gentle rippling waves when I threw a pebble in, the terrapins swimming in the lake without a care in the world, the scent of the evening breeze was strangely calming. It was the place that helped me feel as though I'd finally regained some kind of control over my life. To think that someone actually took their life at a place where I sought for solace was ironic.

But to take your life, it must have taken courage, lots of it. And I wondered what Diana might have gone through; what could have possibly pushed her to a corner and gave her enough courage to take the plunge. It must have been terrifying.

"H-hey X, hiii," Beverly called out to me as I opened the door of the practice room.

Beverly was my stand partner, for last desk in 1st violin. Yes, you heard me right, I'm in last desk. Beverly was a nice and sweet girl, but too nice for her own good in my opinion. The 1st violins were headed by our section leader, Victoria. Yeah, let's just stop there, I don't want to get into greater detail about her character. Anyway, our conductor only communicated with her alone and she was thus given the authority to manage our whole section.