In Time

-Ten-

9 April 2017, Sunday

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I thought long and hard over my close encounter with death last night. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed impossible that Diana could have reflexes that fast. It was almost as if she knew what was going to happen next, like she was prepared and had been expecting it. Almost like me in fact; for I knew what was coming and I was going to protect Diana from whatever harm this time.

Admittedly, I hadn't made much progress in this second chance that I was given. Granted, I was now acquainted with Diana, but I hadn't done anything much, nothing significant for Diana to believe that she had a reason to live, and for her to change her mind about her suicide. If I wanted to save Diana, I would have to dig deeper into this, otherwise I would simply be wasting my time.

I grabbed my crutches from the corner of my bed, slipping my forearms through the cuffs and holding onto the hand grips. I needed time and space to think, to relax, and Crestbridge Park seemed like the ideal location for me to do so.

"Xave, you're going natural today?" Mum questioned as she saw me crutching towards the door.

"Yeah, I've got some blisters on my bad leg and it isn't healing well with the prosthesis," I gestured to my left stump wrapped in dressing.

She walked over to me and took a closer look. "Oh no, that looks bad. It's alright, at least we have an appointment with Mr Ong next week, he should be able to do a few quick tweaks to your prosthetic to relieve some pressure. Speaking of which, you should go to school tomorrow in your crutches instead dear."

"Mum, you know how I feel about this."

We had this conversation umpteen times before. I didn't want my disability to be the first thing that people noticed about me, I wanted them to know the real me first, before simply labelling me as 'the cripple' or 'the guy with one and a half legs'. I understood that Mum wanted me to prioritise my comfort, but what was the point of physical comfort if I wasn't comfortable with who I was?

"Alright Xave, it's your call. Yes, I'll never understand. Sometimes I wish that I can take your place instead," her voice started to crack.

"Mum, I'm fine. Besides, I'm a Usain Bolt on crutches," I gave her a reassuring smile.

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I breathed in the fresh air as I made my way down the pavement towards Crestbridge Park. I wasn't sure if the air quality was particularly great or if it was because I felt especially liberated on my crutches. There was no more hiding, no more trying to be normal. Sure, there were several people who stared not-so-discreetly at me and darted their eyes away when I made eye contact back with them, but I convinced myself that they were simply curious, curious about things that they weren't familiar with.

Upon reaching my favourite hangout spot, the stone bench near the lake in Crestbridge Park, I took a seat and set my crutches down to lean on the unoccupied side of the bench. Time to come up with my next course of action. However, my train of thoughts was distracted by a child's voice in the background.

"Mummy, what's wrong with that guy over there? What happened to his leg?"

Oh good heavens, I probably traumatised another kid yet again with the void under my Bermuda pants where my leg should have been.

I waited, eager to hear the mother's response. Trust me, people could come up with all kinds of things.

I strained my ears. "...now take a good look at him. Do you wish to become like him? If not, you'd better eat your veggies like I asked you to..." the mother's voice trailed off as they walked off into the distance.