Dancing With The Devil

Chapter 3

I sighed, gripping my hair tightly in my hands as I stared down at the spreadsheets and graphs. But the numbers my company was pulling didn't stress me out, they were actually wildly good and never in my life had I let myself worry so much about my finances. I was a firm believer that stress and anxiety didn't lead to having a better business model, calmness and compassion did. If I hadn't been so worried about the fact that I had been found after being hidden in plain sight for nearly five years I would've been delighted with these numbers. It seemed that my company was moving in the right direction but my life was moving backwards, trapping me in a cloud of panic and concern for the majority of the day. I had come to work to try and shake the feelings away or at least focus on something else. Unfortunately, my idea was good in theory and not in practice.

I had always tried to be overly kind to my employees and I constantly told them that – though success was often equated with it- I would not judge their performance by how stressed and miserable they were. I had put hours and hours of time and effort into convincing my staff that I genuinely cared about them and their well-being, not just the numbers they brought in to my accounts receivable. Coming from the home I did it was deeply important to me that fathers got to watch their children's first steps. That mothers could take off at the drop of a hat because their child had started crying at school. I constantly told them to take time off, to take breaks as often as they needed them and to let me know when the work became too much. They had all been hesitant or confused at one point like they were waiting for the mask to fall off, but I forced myself to remain chipper and sweet no matter what. My company was only as strong as my weakest, most grumpy employee.

Sadly, today I was the miserable weak link in the team.

I didn't mean to and I knew it wasn't fair, but I was gruff with anyone who approached me, even if they were just giving me their usual morning greeting. At first they tried to offer me coffee or treats to soothe away the storm cloud that raged around me. When their tactics didn't succeed they gave up. Within an hour everyone had been warned about my foul mood and kept a fair distance away from me which broke my heart and made me feel angrier with myself all at once. I had deemed myself to be a better business woman than to dump my feelings onto others, but it seemed that I had held myself too high in my own mind.

Without another thought, I sent out a quick email, apologizing for my foul mood and telling my staff that I would not be in the office for the rest of the day, but I would be reachable by email. It kind of felt like cheating my way out of a hard situation, but I didn't doubt that they would all breathe a sigh of relief when I departed.

"Have you made any progress with your house, Ms. Davidson?" Stanley asked, finally breaking the silence as we halted at a red light. His soft eyes moved to the rearview mirror, watching me intently.

"No." I said sharply, but then let out a tense breath and forced my shoulders down in mandatory relaxation, "It's very difficult to be in the house, even though I know cleaning it will make me feel better and safer. I just hired someone to change all of the locks in the house and I have a new security system being installed as we speak. I know they said there wouldn't be another break in so soon, but there are still a lot of valuables in that house and I don't want to leave my home compromised." I ranted, lying smoother than I thought I was capable of.

Though it had hurt me to see my house in such a state, it wasn't the greatest concern on my mind. He had found me, indirectly or directly. There was no one else in this world that could walk through such beautiful house, filled with so many lovely things and not be tempted to take some for themselves, even if it was just for pawning them off for money. I had fine paintings, wonderful technology, a stunning new SUV and a done up sports car, and amazing clothes and gems. At least some of those things would've appealed to the majority of people in the world and would've been very easy to sell for a handsome sum.

But that wouldn't have affected Josh. Not in the slightest. He had everything he wanted. He was certain that he had given me everything I had wanted as well. Nothing in my home would've appealed to him, only offended him.

And he was the only man violent enough to trash my entire condo so passionately just on the premise that he would frighten me beyond belief.

I hated to admit it, but he had succeeded. I spent that night bundled up by myself in a hotel room, high above the bustling street below with a view of my modern, angular office building in the distance. I had paced around until my feet ached, but I refused to sit down until I could hardly keep my eyes open. I fell asleep just as the last light went out in my office, all of my beloved employees finally going home for the night. But all the lights in my hotel room remained on.

"He'll love you in this dress." My mother gushed, touching the black silky fabric with her fingertips. Even in that moment she hadn't looked genuinely happy. She seemed to be manifesting some kind of scheme in her mind. A scheme that would land a massive ring on my finger.

But I didn't love me in that dress. It made my skin look sickly and pale, despite my Hispanic bloodline. "I think that blush one is much more elegant." I said carefully. The dress I wanted was lacy and cute, but very sophisticated, instead of sexy and mature.

"Nonsense." My mother snapped, "This is no time to concern yourself with what you want to wear. You are so close to a proposal from him, this is the final push. You have to look like a woman that people would expect a man of his caliber to be with, not some conservative school girl dress from the nineteenth century." She said, pulling down the already plunging neck line.

I almost opened my mouth to say that maybe I didn't want Josh to propose. He was kind enough, at least in the public eye. And he was handsome enough with his blond hair and blue eyes, muscular arms, and dashingly perfect smile. He took me away on trips and had enough money that he convinced me to quit my job as his government job would pay well enough to support us both. We had polite conversations and he always agreed to watch whatever movie I wanted. It was easy to get along with him, I suppose. But there was something off about him, and whatever it was, it made my heart distant, in a way that was unusual for someone anticipating a proposal. I didn't think that I would be having second thoughts if he was truly everything I wanted.

But I could never tell my mother or father that I didn't want to marry Josh. He was everything they had dreamed of. Socially relevant and very powerful, running in the same circles they did. So I shut my mouth and tried to force myself to be comfortable in the slinky dress that my own mother somehow approved.

The world changed and swirled around me madly, making me feel like I was drowning in brilliant colours that were on every dress and I knew that no one could possibly be watching me, but I also felt everyone's eyes on me. It made my skin itch and my mind dizzy. I just wanted it to all be over.

But as I got closer to the end I was only filled with more dread. Everyone in the room had stopped twirling around, the music died with a suddenness that was startling and deafening all at the same time, making my damaged ears ring. All eyes were on my in an instant, like they had all been anticipating this. And for all I knew, they had been. Josh was nothing if not a perfectionist; he very well could've warned everyone that he was going to make a big announcement so that not a single soul would mess up his golden opportunity.

I wanted to scream when I watched him slide down onto one knee. I wanted to slap the gleaming ring out of his hand as soon as he pulled it out of his pocket. And when he said those awful words that made my skin crawl I wished that I would sob my heart out until someone other than Josh put their arm around me and eased me away from that god awful man. But I could only watch myself nod in excitement, whispering 'yes' over and over again as I forced myself to act more gleeful and surprised than I actually was. Everyone around me cheered and rejoiced, but I would've given anything to have shook my head and walk away. Because I had already lived this, I knew what was coming, and it was much worse than what I had anticipated.

*****What do you all think so far? Please vote and comment if you liked it! What do you think of the main character so far?****