Chapter 34

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Jasper's comments hung heavily in my head and heavier in my head. They were true, of course, and he knew that as well as I did. I had known all along that Josh was dangerous. That he knew enough people and had the influence to be absolutely unstoppable. The only purpose he had in this world was to control and dominate. He had used henchmen to kill anyone who wronged him or got in his way. And he had gone so far that he had murdered someone with his own hands in the most barbaric fashion. He was without remorse and without a soul. He was vile and inhumane at best.

I knew all of these things.

But I felt like I had forgotten, like I had allowed myself to forget. When Alistair and I first embarked on this wild hide-away mission I had been absolutely terrified only for myself. My only concern was that this man- who had killed someone in front of me- was trying to take me back to my revolting ex-fiancé. And though that was proven to be untrue quickly I knew that Josh wouldn't give up. Every time I boarded a plane or stepped onto a train I thought I would see one of his goons. I dreamed about how he would kill me when he found me, slowly and patiently. I felt like I couldn't keep my back turned in one direction too long when I was shopping or when we went on excursions because I would be leaving myself exposed for too long. I always wondered if the breath I was sucking in would be my last and I had to eat medicated chocolate just so I could fall into fitful dozes.

But those feelings gradually left me.

Josh hadn't been hiding around all of the corners in Paris. He wasn't waiting for us in Amsterdam when our plane landed. No strange men in black jackets had followed me. My face and name weren't plastered all over the news. He wasn't having public statements every day, trying to coax me to come home. It was almost like he had actually let me go.

And I had Alistair. I hadn't trusted him in the beginning; there was no way that any sane human being would face Josh head on like that. Still, I had no choice but to follow him around like a little willing puppy, but I had been terrified. He was so similar to Josh on paper that I worried I was getting myself deeper into the same mess.

Slowly, ever so slowly, his kindness eased my heart. I could fall asleep at night knowing he would come to my rescue if I screamed during the darkest hours. He was always surveying the world around me whenever we left the safety of our homes so I didn't have to and my shoulders began to drop. The gentle touches, the soft whispers, they all showed me just how different he was. His constant reassurance that Sophie and his parents would take care of us had calmed me down completely. And little by little I began to trust him.

To the point where I had forgotten who I had been in bed with before I met him.

I decided that I had to tell him about Josh being a murderer. I had to tell him about everything, including what Jasper had said. Because Jasper had been right all along and I was playing a deadly game that should involve as few people as possible.

Josh was ruthless, but if he had me he might let Alistair slip between the cracks. He could go into hiding and start a new life. He might never be a government official again, but at least he would be alive.

And if he decided to stay and fight the battle beside me that was his choice and I would know that I had tried. Together Alistair, Sophie, and I might just come up with a miracle that would keep us all out of harm's way.

The day after our excursion with Jasper I decided that I would force myself to say those words, no matter how much they hurt, no matter how much I hated the images that rolled through my mind as a response. Jasper had left already. Now there was only time for Alistair and the truth. It was only fair.

I moved around the house, actively seeking out Alistair.

He found me before I saw him, like usual.

"Come here, Camila." Alistair murmured, sitting at the dining table.

He had spotted me just as I had poked my head out of the hallway, searching the living room.

I obeyed and approached the table, watching him nervously. The kind eyes that had been focused on the book in front of him were now searching me slowly. His facial features plainly showed how content he was in this little hideout and I could see tender and heartfelt emotions swirling through him.

He raised an eyebrow when I simply stood there, staring at him, waiting for the world to collapse around me.

"Sit." He ordered.

I did.

"I want you to tell me what's going through your head. You've been acting strangely since Jasper showed up. But he's gone now and you still haven't relaxed. Did he do something to you?"

"No." I blurted, "Well, not exactly." My eyes dropped to my trembling hands.

"Then what is it?" he asked, sweetly taking my hands in his own, "Jasper is my brother, but I know he's not the most pleasant human being since his whole incident. You can tell me."

"It's not exactly Jasper." I said softly, my mouth felt like it was filled with cotton. "I need to-"

The ringing of the landline cut me off.

My heart plummeted.

Alistair was on his feet in a second, clearly not sensing my dread and hesitation. He dropped my limp hands and moved to the phone, already looking pensive and tense. But I'm certain that I looked a hundred times worse. I felt like I was going to throw up and the unexpectedness of the phone call only made it worse.

"Hello?" Alistair greeted, "Sophie?"

My head snapped up and I stared at him intensely, my heart racing in my chest. My best friend, the person who was fighting my battle for me, was on the other line. I slowly stood up, watching Alistair nod his head slowly as Sophie spoke to him. He had a constant frown on his face but didn't look particularly concerned. But in the same breath he wasn't elated either. I wanted to move close enough to overhear what my friend was telling Alistair, but my feet were glued to the floor. What if I heard something I didn't want to? What if my awful thoughts had come true and Josh was pursuing us harder than ever? I was so tired of running. I was so tired of endangering people who didn't deserve it.

A moment later Alistair hung up the phone and I stared at him. His green eyes were clouded with something that I couldn't read and I gripped the edge of the counter so tightly my arms shook.

"Alistair?" I whispered, stepping closer to him.

"Good news, ma chérie" he announced, suddenly beaming, "You brilliant friend cracked the code, we are going home."

****How does this sudden transition make you feel?****

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