The Key Was Never Mine Φ Camren

Part Eight - El Sentimiento

Camila's POV

The moon was shining brightly tonight. I could see gorgeous, flawless skin in the moonlight from the window, of the beauty that was lying on the bed few inches away from me. Yet so far. I was not lucky enough that I could see her face. I was content that I was at least able to see her.

I could feel someone coming near Lauren's bed. I quickly ducked down where I was hiding for the past hour. Fives minutes more and I can get out of here. I was safely hiding behind one of the beds adjacent to Lauren's. I patiently waited, staring at my watch, for it to be 9. The moment the the big hand of the watch was exactly on 12, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out to see I got a text including 3 thumbs up emojis and a smirk face from the boy who helped me in.

I rolled my eyes at the text and began to move towards Lauren slowly, careful to not to trip over something. Then I stopped.

Am I ready? What if she pressure me into it? What if she doesn't understand? What if she doesn't accept? No no, I am not going to tell her anything. Not today, not yet.

But I have to at some point. She doesn't miss anything, keeping that in my mind, I decided yesterday that may be in near future I have to tell her the thing I haven't shared with anyone.

I hardly ever spend anytime to think about it anymore, it gives me scary chills just to think about sharing it with her. But I have to keep her mind where I want it exactly.

I shook my thoughts away and started walking again. I have questioned myself differently a hundred times now since this week. Should I do this with her? I am still doubting, that's why I haven't made my decision regarding her permanent yet. But I could only decide if I can talk to her. From there only I can decide which road I have to choose.

Act normal. I sighed heavily, preparing myself. I put on a smile as genuine I could muster up. She was sleeping peacefully but I had to do it. I shook her shoulder lightly and called her name. She didn't respond at all. Her face was nuzzled into the pillow. I tried to roll her body lightly so that she could lay on her back. I was hoping that she would woke up in the process and that's was what happened.

"Camila?" I looked at her when I heard my name. I was so indulged in moving her body that I didn't notice her face. Her eyes. Which were watery, filled with confusion and regret; and were staring right into my eyes. I was confused too. She was crying in her sleep again.

"Lauren, wanna get out of here?" I decided to say. Gonna be a long night. And lot of convincing to do.

I pulled up the courage. Truthfully it still hurt to see her in general. What will happen if I let her in again. The only girl who still has the ability to crush my heart. But she doesn't has to know that.

This week I finally accepted that I am still weak infront of her. That's why there are two roads infront of me. I don't want to feel pain this time. But it feels like no matter what I do, the pain would come running to me at the end of this year. The question is which road has more benefit?

I had been driving in silence for two and half hours. Only light radio and soft snores could be heard in the background. I stole a glance at Lauren for like 150th time since I started driving. She was still sleeping with the seat reclined and my flannel covering her chest and face as a blanket.

I was confused as to how can she sleep so much. The blonde boy who let me in, told me that she had been sleeping for 5 hours straight till I woke her up. Now it's gonna be 3 hours more. But I am thankful that we didn't get a chance to talk just yet. I am not completely sure yet about how I am gonna talk to her.

We were near to our destination but I decided to buy some food when I saw McDonald's. I pulled into the drive thru and ordered a lot of food. Food could be a distraction if it gets awkward.