The Thorns of a Rose

chapter four

✧ small warning ✧

my friends are sad for me.
they think i am broken.
they think i can be fixed.

they knew before i
could utter a word.
mom had to share.

it wasn't a story to
share on a phonecall.
it was all mine.

all the secrets.
all the scars.
all the pain.

he was no one.
nameless and normal.
only known my parents.

no file reported.
i couldn't say his name.
i couldn't say his name.

now they guess who.
they search for a name.
they hunt the danger.

they look at me.
they don't see me.
i am damaged goods.

it's only sympathy.
it's what is expected.
it's not real.

pitiful eyes.
empty hugs.
heavy hearts.

"everything will be okay."
"we are here for you always."
"we will support you."

they want to hear my story,
from that awful night.
in all it's darkness.

but, they don't.
they really don't.
who would?

they wouldn't like the details.
they wouldn't like aftermath.
they wouldnt like me.

there were so many bruises,
and the spilled blood,
and the cuts.

he ripped my clothes.
he held me down.
he covered my mouth.

i screamed.
i cried.
i froze.

i was left naked.
soiled.
torn.

i had to walk home.
ripped clothes.
blood running.

would they like to
know i couldn't tell
my parents for days?

would they like to
know that it was someone
i was supposed to trust?

would they like to
know it was someone they
were supposed to trust too?

i say i am fine.
i am moving forward.
i am in control.

i became good at lying.
it was natural.
smoothly pouring out.

the smiles.
the laughs.
the small talk.

it was not me.
it was not margo.
it was something else.

i let them think it's
something i can forget.
like nothings changed.

it's the same routine.
getting dressed.
putting on makeup.

i grow bigger.
baggy clothes.
hiding away.

the weeks pass.
pretending to be
something i am not.

everyday, i feel myself
slip away just a little
further.