The Thorns of a Rose

chapter seven

a hospital.
in a hopsital.
foggy memories resurface.

i remember blood.
darkness.
pain.

i fainted.
heartbeat racing.
it all went black.

my body aches.
head is spinning.
laying in this bed.

beep.
beep.
beep.

hooked to a heart monitor.
ivs prodded into my skin.
mom sleeps in the corner.

i look down.
she is okay.
belly is still there.

she is moving.
like a butterfly.
fluttering away.

flying in circles.
up and down.
side to side.

around the room.
white ceilings.
white walls.

a nurse walks in.
plastered smile.
clipboard in hand.

she walks to my mom.
poking her lightly.
mom wakes instantly.

they whisper to each other.
looking at documents.
then looking at me.

the nurse turns to me.
"you have to stay a couple days."
"we need to monitor you more."

"you're a little too small."
"twenty pounds too light."
"you're at critical point in the pregnancy."

vitamins.
iv with fluids.
three meals a day.

mom says it's stress.
she's noticed too.
worried for my health.

"don't do this to her, margo."
"you had the chance."
"don't be selfish."

her words sting.
like sharp needles
twisting my skin.

i feel anger surging.
mom is on her side.
this baby who only takes.

i stare at the ceiling.
how do i tell my mom that
she is pushing me away?

mom starts to cry.
she sits on the edge.
her hand on my tummy.

she leans down.
head pressed against,
my small little bump.

she whispers,
"hi there, little one."
"its grandma."

"i'm here for you."
"i'll take care of you."
"i love you."

she kicks for the first time.
gently but with power.
she kicks again.

for mom and her hand.
tiny little kicks.
she wants to be heard.

mom smiles.
cries more.
starts to hum a lullaby.

i begin to cry.
panic.
scream.

i keep screaming
and screaming
and screaming.

until it goes hazy.
the room blurry.
and then nothing.