I wanna feel love

I wanna feel love: Part 1

"I think it depends on how much effort someone's willing to put in a relationship to make it function" Brian continued in a sceptical tone
"cause you know, passion eventually fades away and then.. there is all the other stuff that keeps the pair together."

"And..what happens if someone doesn't feel like to put effort in their relationship? Does it mean they are selfish? Or that they don't care?"
He kept his eyes low, running his fingers on a small thread from under the hem of his t-shirt, nervously. His voice a little louder than a whisper.

"I don't know.. I wouldn't.. Freddie is there anything you wish to talk about?" Brian asked. His eyes running up and down Freddie.
"What is it Fred?"

He shook his head fervently, cleared his voice but still didn't look at Brian. "It's nothing, dear" he hummed "I try to be polite and keep the conversation on."

"Freddie, we've known each other long enough to know when you're lying to me" Brian sighed "I know there is something bothering you."

"It's..it's nothing important..I'm anxious about the upcoming days and I'm just overthinking" he said in an attempt to evade Brian's questions. He shifted in his chair and gulped his beer, still not looking at Brian, secretly wishing his friend wouldn't remember, out of the blue, the advice Freddie had given to him to 'try and read their body language, dear, it's fun cause it shows you everything their lips don't speak!!'

He didn't like lying to his friend but he wasn't ready to talk about what he was really thinking. Not now. Not yet.

Brian kept pushing though "Freddie you are terrible at lying" with a slight tone of annoyance in his voice. He was determined to find out what was bothering Freddie but he was never good at making people open their hearts to him.

It was usually Freddie, the one to whom all three of them turned for advice in a difficult situation. A situation like this. But now, he couldn't ask for Freddie's advice. He couldn't ask Freddie himself how he should deal with Freddie's own problem.

So Brian braced himself to not let his annoyance be audible to Freddie and after a long pause with no reaction from his interlocutor, he continued "what is it that you are overthinking about? Is everything between you and Mary all right?"

"Yes, Brian. Everything's all right." Freddie was starting to feel irritated by Brian's persistence. He tried his best to make Brian believe him. He even looked him in the eye and lied to him. He wasn't ready to talk. He was certain of it.

"Cause..Mary is crazy for you, you know. She speaks about you all the time. She loves you and I think you two are-"

"Brian let it go! Stop talking about it" Freddie exploded, not being able to hold it back anymore. "I told you everything is fine!" He sprang from his seat and stormed to the kitchen to calm himself. He took another beer and emptied half of the bottle at once, before returning to the sitting room, feeling just as irritated as before.

Brian could see his friend wasn't in the mood for talking and decided not to push things further away. It wasn't in his intentions to irritate Freddie. He only wanted to help him so he sat there watching him try to relax and thought carefully about his next words.

"I'm sorry" he said in a gentle voice. "I- "

"No dear, I am sorry." Freddie cut him of. "I shouldn't have yelled at you" he apologized and turned his head to see the sad look on Brian's face. "You did nothing wrong to be sorry about." He could now see clearly his friend's pained expression and he felt guilty for his outburst.

"It's ok. I shouldn't have pressed you.." Brian sighed but he didn't want to give up on his intentions. He had to try harder to make his friend open up but he had to be much more gentle and much more careful if he wanted to elicit the truth from Freddie. He could totally understand now, how stressed Freddie was and not for the upcoming shows, days or anything like that.