I wanna feel love

I wanna feel love : Part 4

"Freddie I told you I can't" he barked.

"But, why? It isn't a big deal..I think you'll enj-" Freddie's voice was slightly louder than a whisper.

"No. Do not insist. I already told you" he cut him off.

"But, dear, you never come to-"

The sudden slam of the window interrupted Freddie's try to convince him. Greg was furious. He was ready to explode. Freddie took a minute and made the dreaded question.
"Greg, are you ashamed of us? Of..me?"

Greg turned his back to Freddie and didn't answer. At least Freddie didn't hear him answer.

After that, everything seemed like a blur. Freddie couldn't remember all from Greg's outburst but he did remember him saying, at some point, that 'he was no one to be proud of' and 'that he behaved like a spoiled child, always seeking for attention'. He may also have called him 'a ridiculous fag' but he wasn't sure about that.
The situation seemed so surreal but still, it felt so fucking real.

"Freddie! Freddie, it's ok" John tried to wake him up. John had heard him mumbling and sobbing, the moment he got out of his room ready to go downstairs. He rushed into Freddie's bedroom and saw that his friend was having a nightmare with his head buried deep into his pillow, sobbing and shaking all over. His tears had soaked the pillow.

"Freddie wake up, please!" John spoke a bit louder this time and gave him a small nudge on his shoulder.

He was trying to not let Freddie's state make him nervous cause he had to be the one to calm him down.

"Oh thank God.." he sighed when Freddie eventually heard his voice through his sleep and turned his head to him. "Freddie, it's ok, you're fine" John said quietly, caressing his back above the covers and taking a seat right next to him.

Freddie flickered his eyes slowly, trying to realize what was happening. He was still half asleep when he felt someone near him. Tears were dripping from his eyes as he lifted his head from the pillow and tried to focus his glance at the direction the voice was coming.

"John! Oh John!" he cried and slowly turned over to hug him.

"It's ok Freddie. You're ok now" John whispered, wrapping him in his arms. He caressed the back of his head and found him to be drenched in sweat. "I'm here" he whispered shyly and squeezed him lightly.

Freddie's sobbing eventually stopped since John kept sweet talking to him in his soothing voice and his heart found it's normal rhythm against John's arms' safety. His breath calmed down and he was able to speak a minute later.

"John" he muttered in a croaked yet frail voice "I'm so glad you're here" He was fully awake now, having regained his consciousness but he was still much shaken from that terrible dream. He was hugging John for dear life and he didn't want to let go of him.

Freddie knew that that dream wasn't actually a dream but a reminder of what had happened some days ago in reality and that it came back to haunt him even though he believed that he wouldn't be so much affected by it. Even though it happened more than five days ago. He had thought that, after being  with Greg for five months now, he had got used to the way he would be treated by him.
'How stupid of me, to think something like that?' he thought. 'How could anyone accept such a behavior and be fine with it?'

John was holding him firmly in his arms, trying his best to comfort him, his hands running up and down his back.

"Freddie you're shivering... have you got a fever?" he asked gently.

"Umm I don't know..." he said hardly audible.

"Let me touch your forehead. ok?" John smiled and felt him nod against his shoulder.