I lie on my bed and stare at my ceiling. I have 1 hour to kill before I have to go to the park. I could sleep. Or I could eat. Really, my options are very limited. I close my eyes and sigh. When I open them again, I grab my phone and see that 45 minutes had passed. What the hell? I didn’t fall asleep! I get up and put on a thicker jumper. I go downstairs to the kitchen to get some fruit to eat, and then head out of the house. I finish my banana just before reaching the park and throw my peel into a conveniently positioned rubbish bin. It’s exactly 4:00, and here is Luhan coming to meet me. He flashes me that ridiculously happy grin of his, and he falls in step with me.
“I have this great place we can go to.”
“It better be great, or else I’m leaving.”
He hails a cab, and we both get in to the back seat. Luhan gives the cab driver instructions, and then he sits back next to me. The ride is silent and very awkward, but at least it’s bearable.
“Thank you!” Luhan slams the door shut after we get out. I look around our destination, and it’s a fair.
“Really? A fair?”
“What? They’re fun!” Luhan looks at me with innocent eyes. You’re far from innocent!
“They’re so lame, though.”
“Unless you go to a good one, and trust me, this is a good one.” He grins and grabs my wrist, dragging me to the entrance.
“Two tickets, please.”
“Of course. Here you go. Have a nice date!” The lady at the booth smiles warmly at us, and I feel my cheeks redden immediately.
“I-it’s not-“ But Luhan drags me away before I could protest.
“I quite like that suggestion.” He whispers in my ear.
“You be quiet.” I huff, crossing my arms. This trip is NOT off to a good start.
We walk around the grounds, looking at all the stalls and passing the rides. There are many screams of happiness from the rollercoaster rides in various parts of the fair, and the place isn’t so packed yet. We play a couple of stall games, but it turns out Luhan is just as bad – if not worse- than me at these games. We walk away with our tails between our legs, little kids laughing at out failed attempts. Although we’re laughing at each other, too. Strangely, my laugh doesn’t feel so forced. It’s kinda nice.
“What do you want to do?” Luhan says.
“I want to ride one of the roller coasters.” When he hears me say roller coaster, he turns pale. Did I hit a nerve? “Oh, are you maybe scared?” I smirk.
“No! I’m not scared! Men don’t get scared!” He makes a fuss about it, and he confirms my suspicions.
“So let’s go on one!”
“O-Ohkay. I’m doing this for your benefit! You can hold onto me if you get scared.” He grins confidently. He thinks I don’t see his hand shaking.
I find the largest roller coaster, and we line up. There aren’t many people in the line, but its slowly growing. We get closer to the front, and Luhan looks like he’s going to cry.
“Sure you’re ok, there big man?”
“Yeah, yeah I am. Men don’t get scared!” He’s steadily keeping up his man façade, but we both know what’s really going on.
We’ll be going on the rollercoaster in the next group, and suddenly Luhan grips my arm.
“Please don’t make me do it! Please!” So he’s finally given in. I’m enjoying this, though. I haven’t done anything but mope in the last month and today I’m going to make Luhan pay for all the days he annoyed me and refused to leave me alone.
“We’re getting on, come on!” I take a step forward, but an attendant puts a hand out.
“Sorry, it’s full. You’ll be on the next one.” My plan has turned out even better than I ever could have thought it would. We would be sitting at the very front instead of the very back.
“Hear that, Luhan? We get to sit at the front!” Luhan turns so pale that I believe he’s about to faint. “I thought you were a man?”
“Stop teasing me! You’ve made your point! Can we go now, please? Why can’t you be normal and choose the tea cup ride?”
“Cause I get dizzy. Man up, geez!” I watch the carts take off, watching the people throw their hands into the air, and I’m suddenly very excited.
“Ok. Come in. Please sit here.” The attendant escorts us to the very front of the roller coaster, and Luhan’s legs are shaky as he sits next to me. The safety bars slide across, locking us in.
“Are you ready?”
“I-I think I’m going to puke.”
“Do it over the side, ok?” There’s a noise, and we’re moving. As the cart climbs the first drop, Luhan grips the bar tightly, his knuckles turning white. We reach the peak, and rapidly fall. I throw my arms into the air and whoop, while Luhan screams and cries.
As the ride ends, he’s been reduced to a mess of tears. We get out of the cart and he stumbles. I grab him and help him to sit on a bench.
“Not going to throw up?” He shakes his head, but doesn’t move form the bench. So I admit I feel a little bad, but this is still funny. I didn’t know he was scared of heights. I’m going to make this hell for him.
It’s getting dark, and I check my watch. It’s almost 7. We’ve been here nearly 3 hours, and it feels like only 10. I’ve been smiling for the three hours, and I haven’t felt this good in what feels like a million yers. We exit the fair, after I made Luhan ride all the roller coasters and rides to do with heights with me and then to finish him off, we rode the Ferris wheel. We catch a taxi to my house, and Luhan walks me to the door.
“Thank you for taking me to the fair. You’re right, not all fairs are lame.”
“I told you.”
“I want to say thanks for showing me that there IS something else after a relationship ends. Today, I… I was really happy. I haven’t smiled like that in a long time. So thank you.” Luhan doesn’t make a big fuss about my thank you like I thought he would.
“You’re very welcome. I hope I can make you even happier in the future.”
“Uhm, yeah.. So, I guess you should go home…”
“Yeah! Oh yeah, I do..”
“Uhm.. thanks again.” I step forward and hug him quickly, then step back inside my house and close the door quickly. I open the door again, to see if Luhan left. He’s just leaving the driveway, but in the dark, I see him throw his fist into the air. I close the door, and rest against it. My cheeks are hot, and my mouth is smiling. My heart is fluttering, and I feel as if I’m drunk on happiness. It’s an almost alien feeling. It feels slightly wrong, though, that I’m enjoying myself when I don’t know if Kai is.
But I guess I have to move on. I can’t jail myself forever over this. Kai and I are over, so now I have to start again. A new start. A new life without Kai - a happy one.
With Luhan
Where did that come from? I’m shocked by how fast that thought came out, but the thought of Luhan makes me smile. Luhan isn’t all that bad, I guess. Does he like me? He said we wanted to make me happier. I shouldn’t linger on these thoughts. Relationships are toxic and dangerous. I’ll just get hurt if I lead myself on by thinking that Luhan is even slightly interested in me. He just felt guilty that I broke up with Kai. Still, it can’t hurt to spend some time with him.
