Luhan’s arms are strong as they hold me and his frame is steady. I feel safe being in his arms, like he can shield me from anything. I faintly hear the door open and close, and I look up and see a woman in a white coat.
“Hello, I’m Kai’s doctor - Dr. Toya. Are you Kai’s friends and family?”
“Friends. His cousin isn’t here yet.” Sehun says. He sits on the chair next to Kai’s bed, his back slumped.
“Oh. I’m sorry, but I’m unable to disclose any information about Kai’s current condition until his legal guardian is present in the room. I’m sorry. I’ll come back when he is present.” Dr. Toya apologizes. She quietly leaves the room, and my stomach churns. Is his condition really that bad? She can’t even tell us if he’s ok or not? I feel like the room is too small, like its walls are slowing closing in on me and will eventually crush me. A feeling of nausea engulfs me, and I hurry to the door for a breath of air. Once I am out of the room, I sprint for the exit, and when I reach it, I inhale the fresh air and cast my eyes to the sky.
“TJ? Are you ok?” A soft voice comes from the door, and I know it’s Luhan.
“..Yeah. I will be.” I manage to say.
“I’m sure Kai isn’t in any immediate danger. We should trust the doctor.” Before I could reply, I see Kai’s cousin running towards the building.
“TJ! Luhan! Has the doctor said anything?”
“Harley! We had to wait for you. The doctor said she couldn’t say anything without you being there. TJ and I can show you the way.”
I nod, and the three of us walk in. The sterile smell of the hospital hits me once again, and I feel faint. NO. I can’t be like this. I’m always so weak and dependent. This time, I have to be the strong one.
Dr. Toya comes back into the room several minutes after Harley arrives, and after checking Kai’s IV drip and heart monitor, she tells us the verdict.
“Kai’s fall was very rough, but he’s lucky. His forehead split open, but nothing too major. He’ll be unconscious for a maximum of 24 hours, as the anesthesia we used was somewhat powerful. When he wakes up, he’ll be disorientated and he will continue to be for several days after. That’s the only consequence. Other than that, he was very lucky to have escaped with such small injuries. Feel free to call me if you have any inquiries. I’ll be on my way now.”
A heavy weight had been lifted off and everyone visibly relaxed. My legs feel like jelly, and my hands shake. The relief I feel is immense, and I’m so happy I could cry.
“I told you he would be fine.”
“Yeah, you did. Thank you.”
“It’s been tiring. Do you want to come get something to eat?” Luhan asks.
“I actually do, yeah. Hold on.” I walk over to Kai and grasp his still hand. Its warm, and soft. His sleeping face is peaceful, and he doesn’t appear to be in pain. I kiss him on the cheek, and before I leave, I tell him I’ll come back.
“Ok. Let’s go.” I tell Luhan.
We leave the hospital, and it turns out that it’s already 7pm. I feel emotionally drained from the crying and the nerves, and I look forward to eating something.
“What do you want to eat?”
“I don’t mind. As long as I eat soon. I’m starving.” Luhan nods, and our footsteps synchronize as he falls in step beside me.
“I know this nice café with good food.” He says. We walk past several streets that are empty and cold, but I don’t feel as if I am in danger. It feels as if being next to Luhan shields me from anything horrible. It’s a strange sensation, different from the feeling of security Kai gives me. It’s a feeling of safety. My head is too emotionally drained to think about the strange feelings Luhan gives me, and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with these thoughts for the time being.
After 10 minutes of walking, we reach a large café with a large sign on the front that reads “Patty’s Pastries” in cursive writing. Luhan and I walk in, and the delicious smell of pastries envelops us. The air is warm and comforting, but the shop is strangely deserted. We walk up to the counter to order, but there is no one here.
“Hello?” Luhan calls.
“I’ll be right there!” A lady’s voice replies. While we wait, I read the menu and realize I don’t have any money.
“Hello! What will you order today?” I hadn’t even realized the lady had come out.
“2 croissant sandwiches and 2 medium cups of chocolate frappe, please.”
“Of course, coming right up. Just take a seat and I’ll send them over when they’re done.” Luhan leads the way to a corner booth after paying, and we slide in.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t have money on me. Can I pay you back tomorrow?” He looks at me as if I’m delusional.
“No, no, no. It’s ok. You don’t need to do that. It’s on me.”
“But I’ll feel bad!”
“No. It’s fine.” I want to insist, but my brain is too tired. I’ll just give him the money tomorrow instead. While we wait in awkward silence, the situation dawns on me that it’s just the two of us, alone and secluded. I feel suddenly insecure without Kai, and feel even guiltier that I’m not in the hospital with him. Why would I come out to a secluded place with a guy I hardly know while my boyfriend is unconscious in the hospital? Stupid, stupid, stupid me. My head is telling me to get up and go back, but something else tells me to stay. Why would I even consider staying, though? Is it because of what has happened lately with Luhan and the feelings I get from being near him? My curiosity is sparked by this sudden revelation. Luhan is just my boyfriend’s friend. So why do I get a jittery stomach whenever he touches me? Why do his hands leave burning trails on my skin even after they’re gone? I don’t understand. I don’t have any romantic feelings towards Luhan, yet something tells me that if I don’t get away from him, things will get complicated.
