Poems from the Hurt

Awhile

It's been awhile,
And I know I unconditionally love you
But have resented you for years
And I realize that it is not all your fault
You don't deserve to be hated
Yet, everyone hates you so openly
I just want you to know that I love you
I don't care what anyone else says
You are still the same person from when we were young
We are still young
And when I say it's been awhile
I mean, you've been gone for so long
I sometimes forget you exist
Only to be grounded with memories of  you
And that moment when I see you again
I go back to when we were young
That I mistake this moment for then
Only to come crashing back into reality
You are not gone because you choose to be
We have casted you away
We have forced a wall between our paths, separating you from us, to make you feel unwanted, alone
I am so genuinely sorry, so genuinely broken for you
You were reprimanded for your mistakes
Punished for just being you
But you were only a child yourself
Trying to learn; needing the love and support to grow
But you are malnourished
You asked to be loved
I love you
I can't emphasize that enough
Because it is too late
The damage has been done
We are both broken, shattered souls
But I can still remember our last embrace
As it was only moments ago
You were there, but being forced to leave
To fade into the background of night once more
And I didn't know how long it'd be until I could see you again
If I'd ever see you again
So I turned out the lights
Lied myself across the bed
My back to the mattress
Only to let the tears fall in solace
Cascading across the sides of my temples
Disappearing into my hairline
When I felt you join me
Wrapping me in your shaky arms
Caressing my back until I reciprocated
Pulling the blanket over us so we'd feel alone
Placing our chins in to the crooks of each other's necks
Listening to each other sob
The sound of our heavy breaths
To our broken whispers
Voicing sweet everything's
From I love you,
To I miss you so damn much
Yet, I can't remember who said which
Because we were so close
Touching the moon
Under the stars
That we were one in that moment
I didn't realize how much I could miss a person until I held them so close to me
I didn't realize how broken a person could be until I felt them break in my very own arms
Until something registered within me
We forget we are human, forgetting to treat others like human beings
Forgetting to love
And show others that they are loved
Forgetting to forgive
And accept one's forgiveness
Forgive me, I love you
Please, love me.