This delves more into my depression, or what it was. I no longer feel this way. I'm really happy as of right now. I haven't hit the best part of my life yet, and my life is nowhere near figured out, but I'm actually fine. I can finally say that with honesty. I'm still super sensitive and emotional, but I can handle that more than I could ever handle what depression did to me.
~~~
I thought there was something wrong
As if the problem was me
At 10-years-old, I knew I was angry
At 11-years-old, I didn't know what I was feeling
By 12-years-young; too young if you ask me, I wanted to die
But why?
I didn't know what it was called
How to describe the pain in my mind, the ache in my chest
The sickening thoughts that didn't rest
Until I went to middle school
Awe, the "right of passage"
I'd be thirteen soon
And I'd meet new people,as I did
But I never expected to learn
That the unmistakable pain that I was going through, that I was feeling
Was depression
I heard that everyone got depressed
But there are certain degrees to everything
And I was the worst case scenario
"Suicidal"
I wasn't sure at first
I didn't necessarily want to die
As I still believe no one does
But it just hurt too much to live
I wanted the pain to end
And it wasn't like I was the in that mindset all of the time
Outside, at school
You'd never know
I was so happy, carefree
But when I got home
I was alone
All the time in the world to think
And that's the worst thing anyone could've left me with
My thoughts
My worst enemy
My ultimate downfall
My mind
I was always praised for how smart I am
How quick I learn
Wise beyond my years
But what they'd never know
Is that my mind was killing me
~~~
What truly breaks my heart is that depression is occurring in people younger and younger. No one should have to go through that, let alone at such a young age, a child. When I was in middle school, I knew almost 20 students who harmed themselves frequently. People tell you that you should've asked for help, but a lot of us actually do. Maybe, we didn't outright say, "Can you help me?" but a lot of us go to family and people we trust, only to be told what we already know, "you need help."
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Poems from the Hurt
PoesiaExcerpts ~~ Numbness creeps into the very veins that refuse to speak for me And yet they still bleed With every puncture Every laceration Everything that is ever forged out of hiding abiding by crippling sensations ~~ Perpetual sadness It hurts And...
