Dean laid on his side silently, his face crumpled. A shattered sob escaped him, and he brought his legs up as far as he could - his growing belly another reminder of his impending failure.
His face was reddening at the effort of keeping quiet. He bunched his fists in his hair. He couldn't do this. This pregnancy had broken Dean, in a way that Hell hadn't. "Cas?" he finally got out; his voice was shredded. The precious seconds he waited till Castiel arrived were agonising.
"Dean," the angel was by his side immediately. Dean let out another desperate sob. "What is it, beloved?"
"I can't do this," he managed. Cas took off his overcoat, and tie. He kicked his shoes off and crawled into their bed. He pulled Dean into his arms and tucked his under his chin.
"It's okay, my love".
You are poison. Dean pulled out of his embrace. "But what if it's not?" he yelled, his face still wet. His hands were shaking. "I'm going to fucking wreck these kids," his voice cracked. Cas bit back his protest, and put a hand on his arm.
"Dean, it's alright. I promised that I would be here, always, to love you and our children," he hushed him. Dean wasn't convinced.
"Dammit, Cas. Sometimes love just isn't enough, okay?"
Cas sat them both up. "Dean!" he said, his voice like thunder. His eyes were lightening blue. They were the same colour of the sky - the one he'd in his dream at the hospital. Like someone had taken a paintbrush, and every shade of blue they knew, and painted his eyes.
Dean looked at his face. It was soft, and more human than he had ever seen him. He remembered when he first saw him. He tried to remember what he thought of him, then. He couldn't remember feeling anything other than what he felt for Cas now.
Dean felt like Cas was the epitome of everything still sacred in this world.
"Please believe me. You will do your best to raise these children," he said quietly. "You might not be the best father in history, but you will be the best you can be. I know you will. And it will enough". Dean marvelled at the emotion on Castiel's face. Dean couldn't figure out if it was a good thing; angels et al. "You raised your brother, and Sam has become a remarkable man". Dean smiled. "These children will love you as much as I do," Cas said.
Dean never thought he could be worthy of love. "You're an idiot," Dean said, his voice breaking.
Cas smiled.
YOU ARE READING
Special Sauce (Destiel)
FanfictionA Destiel fanfiction. The title is a dirty joke, heh. Set between season nine and ten. Mark of Cain and stuff like that doesn't really exist. This is a mpreg story, please do not read it if you don't like it....... please like it. WARNINGS FOR A...
