Free yet trapped

Chapter 2: On the edge.

We are sitting on the roof of the building, about twenty meters from the ground, Oscar's arm around my shoulders, our feet hanging loosely over the edge, and our tails intertwined, looking at where the sun will appear from. There is already some light but I don't think I can go back to my human form just yet.

"Here you are! Oscar you could have told us you found her instead of having us to look for her all night", Fiona says, as if I wasn't present. We both turn around as she lands, her face being the only human feature she has visible, besides her human size. Her body's coated in white and golden brown feathers, just like an eagle.

"Sorry, I found her little ago. I told Ashley, who, by the way, is inside", Oscar says to the eagle mutant, as he lets go of my shoulders and takes my hand instead.

Finny notices Oscar's actions and instantly comments about it. "It's ok, I get it. You want to spend time together, but you don't have to hide from us, you know?" she says in a playful manner making me tense, and her getting an angry look from Oscar. We are not a couple, although I wish we could be. We were together for a few months and then went to 'just friends', but the others don't know that...

"Besides, they probably gave up looking for you already, since the sun is almost out", she says, trying to change the subject so that Oscar doesn't kill her, although he would never do that.

I let go of Oscar's hand, hugging my knees and trying to hide from the world as the memories of last night and other nights come flooding my head again. Oscar puts an arm around me and rubs my shoulder trying to comfort me, I attempt to push him away but he refuses to let go of me. "I just want to be alone", I mutter shoving him away again.

"Not happening, Cat", he whispers in my ear as he hugs me tighter.

"Hey, if you want me to leave you two alone..."

"Not now, Finny!" Oscar barks at her, making her realize of my mental break down and her face reveals pity, pity for me. And I hate it.

"Cat, are you ok?", she asks, walking hurriedly towards me. I don't answer. "What happened?", she insists sitting beside me. She tries to meet my eyes but I look away, meeting Oscar's instead, making me realize that I want him.

I want him to hold me, to tell me that it was not my fault, that it will be ok. But it won't be ok, and it IS my fault. I want him to want me, to need me, to need me like I need him. But it won't happen, it can't happen.

He raises his gaze to meet Finny's "She did it", he says in a cold voice referring to the murder I committed. I burrow my face away from the world, curling up in a ball.

A few years ago I would had cried, but now... I've lost it all. Twice. This is my third 'family', and I'm ready to lose anything and anyone, except for Oscar. He's the only one I've known since the beginning and the only one I can't afford to lose. Because he's the only one I have left inside my heart.