Oscar:
I growl frustrated, pulling on my own ear. "Do you want to leave?", I ask in the most gentle voice I can manage. She shakes her head. "Do you want me to leave?", I ask softly and I get another no. "Then come here, you don't have to be that far away", I say walking towards her, I see the fear in her eyes as she tries to get away but finds herself cornered.
I back away, not understanding why she's acting in this way. "Cat, what happened? Did I do something?", I ask trying to understand. Is she seeing something else? No, her eyes aren't like when she's hallucinating, they're just scared.
She looks at me through her tears. "You tried to rape me", she says in a low but confident voice, an accusing voice.
I feel my eyes fill with tears as I process her words. Impossible, it's impossible, she's the most important person in my life, it's true I don't know what happened but I couldn't had done that, right? We were just kissing, I did lose control but not like that, right? Then why am I crying?
"I'm sorry", I whisper, I fall to my knees "I'm sorry, it wasn't me. I deserve to be punished, tell the others, you should sentence me to exile", I continue until I hear her call my name.
"I know. I know it wasn't you, calm down, I'm not going to tell", she says in a calm voice.
"But I'm a monster!", I scream at her, she tenses in fear. "I'm a monster", I repeat to myself again.
"No you're not, that wasn't you", she assures me. "Is it just me or this feels backwards?", she asks half laughing, how can she laugh right now? How can she take this so lightly? "Look, you lost it, something bad could had happened, it didn't, and you're back to your senses. Stop worrying about it. Just tell me what the trigger was so that it doesn't happen again", she says as if we were talking about a broken trap.
"What?", I ask confuse.
"Everyone has a trigger, for werewolves it's the moon, for me it's the sunset, not much you can do about it, we're mutants we're genetically flawed", she explains carelessly. "I'm guessing by your face that you have no clue what so ever. So this was the first time it happened, isn't it?", she concludes.
"How can you forgive me?", I ask her.
"I'm not forgiving you, you didn't do anything so there is nothing to forgive. That doesn't mean I'll forget what happened", she states. I nod understandingly.
"Does that mean that I have to stay at this distance from you from now on?", I ask, looking at her face hidden by her hair. She shakes her and I quickly crawl to her, circling her small body with my arms. "I'm sorry", I whisper in her ear as she hugs me back.
"It wasn't your fault, we all lose it every now and then", she responds softly against my chest. I pick her up and get on the bed, sitting her on my lap although this time she's sitting sideways instead of facing me. "I'm sorry I freaked out earlier, it probably didn't help your confusion", she says tiredly. "Till where do you remember?", she curiously asks. I sigh, trying to remember but I last thing I know she was marking me.
"You bite my neck, I pulled on your tail and next thing I know you're trying to run away from me", I say with a shrug and knowing I have something missing. "How far did I get? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry", I say hugging her tighter.
"You where touching me and I was asking you to stop, you wouldn't. Then you tried to penetrate me and that was when I managed to push you off. It didn't hurt a lot, at least not physically, but I thought you were going to use me", she says lowly and hiding in my chest. I look at her with pity, she shouldn't had gone through that again, not after what they did to her, but this time it's my fault, I'm the one to blame, and she shouldn't be on my lap after that.
"I'm sorry", I repeat hugging her tighter. "If it happens again just rip my throat out", she looks up at me with a frown.
"If it happens again I'll make sure to cut your dick and balls off, that way you wouldn't have to worry of getting hormonally out of control anymore", she says threateningly serious.
"You would really castrate the father of your future kids?", I chuckle.
"Is not like I can have any, considering all the crap they have done to my body I doubt they haven't mutilated that part", she says emotionless. "But don't worry, I wouldn't do that, I love you too much to do that to you", she says rubbing her head on my chest.
"How do you know when you're in love someone?", I ask scratching her ear. She tenses at the question.
"I guess if you're willing to do anything to make them happy", she shrugs. "Why?"
"I think I'm in love with you", I confess. She sighs.
"I'd prefer if you said someone else, I can't be with you, and I don't want you to suffer whenever I go savage", she says in a low voice.
"Well, you should know I can't change my feelings towards you, so either you start being my girlfriend again or you'll be the one making me suffer", I say.
She smiles at my statement. "I'm in love with you, you know that, and I wish I could be with you but...I don't want to drag you into this mess", she says taking my hand. "Please, forget that you love me, forget that I exist, I will leave if that helps", she begs looking up at me, her stare breaking my heart.
"I can't, even if you leave, you'll just break me", I say caressing her cheek. She looks down with a sigh.
"I know, I was just hoping", she lets out.
We stay in silence, my mind debating how I should ask her the next question. "How many people have you loved?", I ask her.
YOU ARE READING
Free yet trapped
Romansa"Just tell me already!", he says impatiently though still with a smile. "Fine!", I mutter irritated. "They did a bet over when we were getting back together." As soon as I say that I question why on earth I didn't lie, then again, Oscar knows when...
