Living with Dead People (5sos||Vampires)

sixty one

*Ashton's POV

I carried Nicole up the stairs as she slept in my arms. Tear stains were left on her cheeks, and she squirmed in my arms. Hopefully not having another nightmare. Those have been very prominent lately, and this trauma of losing a friend probably won't help. I placed her on my bed and kissed her forehead gently, rubbing my thumb against her soft cheek.

I slipped off her shoes, then her skinny jeans, and got her into comfortable clothes to sleep in. I took one of my shirts from my closet and slipped it on her before climbing into bed next to her. I then pulled her close to me as she continued to toss and turn. Once against my chest, she calmed down. 

I sighed and ran a hand over my face, I worried about her deeply. I worried if she could handle everything that's happened lately, if she could take it all on. And I knew Quincy's death would take a particular toll, seeing as her parents also died in a car accident. It's probably why she got so upset so easily, plus the loss of a friend always makes you upset.

I pushed all the negative chatter to the back of my mind and closed my eyes, pulling my mate closer to my chest. I closed my eyes and slept.

*time skip

*Nicole's POV

Stressful. That kind of sums up the last few weeks for me. Well, now that I mention it, 'stressfull' kinda sums up my whole life doesn't it?

Quincy is dead, about a month or so ago I was kidnapped and brutality tortured, and to top that off the nightmares aren't getting any better. I've tried so many things to try and get rid of my bad dreams and negative thoughts.

Usually music does the trick to ease my nerves, but sometimes that just isn't enough by itself. Reading, drawing, exercising, even a combination of all of those things isn't helping.

So I thought I'd try another route, smoking. People always said that drugs, alcohol, anything of the like, shouldn't be used as coping strategy, and I knew they were right, but it's not like they'll kill me or anything. They don't exactly do anything, I can't explain it, but I'm addicted.

It's only been going on for three-ish weeks, smoking just one or two, maybe three, every other day. I sneak away before bed or in the early mornings. I don't know why, but I didn't want the boys to find out. I guess... I think they'd be disappointed.

The boys engrossed themselves in a video game, giving me the chance to slip away. I sat on the edge of the dock, my converse clad feet swinging back and forth. My ipod lay next to me, blasting 'Complexes' by Tonight Alive.

"Why can't you be more like me?
You know I'd do anything to see you smile.
Why can't you be more like me?
I know that I'm gone, but only for a while." I sang quietly.

I took the pack of Malboro's from my denim jacket pocket, and slipped the lighter out of the back pocket of my skinny jeans. I took a single cig from the pack, leaving only five left. I sighed, shoving the red box back into my pocket. I lit the end of the cigarette, taking a long drag, before setting the lighter down beside me on the dock and puffing out the smoke.

I continued to listen to the songs playing from my 'punk/rock' playlist.

Flashback to the middle school emo phase. Ugh, cringe attack. 

'Temporary Bliss' by The Cab began to play, and I smiled to myself.

"I come over, quarter past two.
Love in my eyes, blinded by you.
Just to get a taste of heaven.
I'm on my knees.

I can't help it, I'm addicted.
But I can't stand the, pain inflicted.
In the morning, you're not holding on to me." I sang.

And after that song ended, 'Welcome To My Life' by Simple Plan started playing. I took one last drag from my first cigarette, then exhaled the smoke. Then I flicked the bud into the lake.

That's littering.

I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts before pulling the pack back out of my pocket. I took another out and stuck it between my lips, then set the pack beside me. Using my black lighter, I ignited my second cigarette.

Why didn't you just use the last cigarette to light the new one? Idiot.

I sighed and looked ahead, and across the lake taking in little details of the scenery.

"Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies.
While deep inside you're bleeding." I whispered, breathing out a puff of smoke.

God life would be so much easier if I hadn't kicked that kid in the face. If I'd never met him, I would never have had to go through the pain of losing him. Maybe I wouldn't be sitting here on the god damn dock smoking. I miss you, kid.

I miss being young, not having to worry or think about anything. Just free to play and live. I miss having parents, I miss going to school and learning. It was simpler back then...

You also weren't a murderer back then.

I sighed, running my free hand through my hair. The thoughts that swam around in my head were pissing me off, not to mention stressing me out.

Momma come sing me to sleep, I'm stressed out.

I suddenly heard the back door of the house close, and then I heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Four pairs of footsteps to be exact. My eyes widened and I panicked. How am I gonna hide all this? I'm not about to throw it all in the lake! Plus they can probably smell the smoke if they haven't seen it already.

Well... shit.

I sighed before taking another hopeless drag. There was no point in hiding it now.

My feet swung back and forth, I kicked to the beat of 'The Mighty Fall' by Fall Out Boy. I looked out on the horizon, trying to ignore the stares I was receiving from my mates. When they finally reached me, Ashton sat on my left and Michael sat on my right. Calum and Luke sat on the other side of Michael.

"Those things will kill you." Michael chuckled dryly.

"News flash babe." I paused, taking a drag then exhaling the smoke. "I'm already dead."

We sat in silence. There was the occasional chirping from birds, crashing of small waves, and creaks from the dock. I continued to smoke my cigarette, looking forward, or everywhere except the boys' gaze.

"We aren't disappointed." Michael said out of the blue. I looked up at him, he smiled sadly.

"If this is your way of coping, we get it." Ashton elaborated. I nodded, thankful that they understood.

"But... I don't want you relying on these things too often. Even though they can't really hurt you, it's a bad habit. And it could lead to other bad habits. Then the next thing you know you're going to parties at two am, getting drunk or high or both, sucking people's blood and going on someone else's acid trip." Ashton said, chuckling at the end.

"Okay then, mom." I laughed, rolling my eyes playfully. "But thanks for looking out for me."

"No problem, it's what we're here for." Ashton smiled. "You want some lunch? There's a bowl of Top Ramen with your name on it."

"Sounds good." I said, smiling. Ashton, Luke and Michael started making their way back up the dock and into the house. I stood up, stuffing my lighter back into my pocket. I went to put my cigarettes into my jacket pocket, but Calum held his hand out. He looked at me expectantly, but I shook my head.

"Come on babe. Hand them over." He said firmly. I sighed, placing the pack in his waiting hand. He smiled proudly, and together we walked back into the house.