The Higher Define Review

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Author of the story is crystallise

The Higher Define is a science fiction story that takes place in a post apocalyptic era I assume. The story features a lot of sciencey fiction talk, with artificial skies, cyborg? people, etc. From the chapters I read, I found little to no mistakes with spelling or grammar. Instead I was met by some lovely imagery and a new hatred for a certain group of individuals within the story. (They're meanies) The story has relatively short chapters, or at least the ones I read were short. It's completed, and is in editing stages, so I'm sure the author would love more feedback on their writing if you do decide to read the story, which I recommend. Overall it was a lovely read.


This is mainly for the author to look through and see what I had to say while reading their story. Feel free to look at it, maybe you'll be encouraged to read the actual story itself.

Ch. 1 : A good start and I couldn't detect any mistakes anywhere. The story seems interesting and I'm intrigued by some of the sci fi elements you introduced, specifically how more are made. Though it flat out mentions it, I wonder about the process itself.

Ch. 2 : So like, are they cyborgs? Androids? I'm still trying to figure that one out. Like before, I couldn't find any mistakes, at least none that stuck out enough to grasp my attention. From what I can see, you're setting up for something that I don't believe the MC will be to happy about. Also going on the information, I'd be screwed in this society. Corrupt Life for Life!

Ch. 3 : By god, A MISTAKE! You said spreaded, just say spread out. Sorry for getting overboard with that one, but I gotta jump at anything you give me at this point. Do you mean controls? Not controll? Besides that though, story is going good.

Ch. 4 : Fry... fry their contacts? The things in their eyes? I already have terrible eyesight this society would destroy me for just having a lack of direction. "People who are vulgar and think that they know best" RIP MC. RIP my assumptions. This chapter didn't appear to have any mistakes though. So good job! :D

Ch. 5 : Well isn't Cali just a creepy boy. Love him though. I dislike all higher defines now... Also you say sansing instead of standing. Besides that one mistake, you're all good. The story seems to keep wanting to make me hate the higher defines.

Ch. 6 : Screw it, time to become a higher define just for that intense game of Hide and Seek! You say scored instead of stored. You say you instead of your. Besides these mistakes you really do a great job at imagery in this chapter! Also explaining more about how Higher Defines basically live like gods.

Ch. 7 : You say "the shell a made of glass" I think taking out the a or replacing the "the" with the a could work. You have a useless "and" after you describe the figures of the creatures. And with that, you end on a cliffhanger. Noice. The chapter didn't have many mistakes from what I could see.


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