Explicit [GirlxGirl - Complete]

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The cold damp bathroom floor isn't what I had in mind when I wanted "private time". I'm too hung up on Lianna's words and the look on her face to think about anything else really. My head falls back against the stall wall. The tampon rustles in my hand as I turn it over in my fingers. I don't want to use it. I don't want to be in this situation in the first place. For the past year, I've been running from it all. I ran from nature and the world. Chang is just the hardest thing to deal with.

I look down at the tampon.

Lianna is the last person I want help from. But now I can't give it back. Maybe I should have. I wouldn't feel so shitty and I wouldn't have a problem about how I'm going to get this in...well...

I push down my pants to my ankles. The cold air drifts between my thighs and up. My hand lifts my shirt and I hold it still with my chin. Goosebumps pop up around my stomach and my hips.

A lump forms at the back of my throat. As I stare at the tampon I can't help but think about her. I want her out of my head. I didn't want anything to do with her. They could talk about her all they wanted, but why did it have to be around me?

And why was it her that decided to be nice to me when I would have been fine with her being a bitch?

The questions running in my head couldn't compete with the image of her confident smile. She is drilled into my mind.

I take a deep breath, poise the tampon between my thighs, and push up.

The tip hit resistance and the pain came shooting up.

"Fuck. Shit."

I pull my hand back only to see it covered in red. Wincing, I yank at the toilet roll and wipe my hand off. The fucking tampon was a no-go, not even if Lianna could convince me with her smug face. Now it hurt down there worse than before.

But the ache was different.

My face burns as I fold a wad of toilet paper and place it in my underwear. The makeshift pad isn't going to work. It won't last ten minutes, but it would have to do.

I yank my pants up and flush, tossing the tampon into the trash. The empty bathroom is what I need, but I can still feel her here. Her perfume lingers and so does her voice. The distinct notes of the aroma pull me into a dreamland state. I glance at myself in the mirror as I wash my hands. I'm a ghost drifting in and out of reality. My face looks like I haven't slept in days and my entire body aches with pain. Thankfully, I had the mind to slip Ibuprofen in my pocket this morning.

I pop three in my mouth and drink from the sink. The pills go down easier than I'd imagined.

When I look back in the mirror, I'm not surprised by my blank face. My hair, a tangle of brown curls, only makes me feel more like I'm losing my mind. Liza crosses my thoughts, only a flicker of curiosity about what she's doing right now. I will myself to think of her no longer. There is no easy way to forget her, no way that I can just push her from my memory like everything else. The gossip and the meaningless talk others speak about never stays with me longer than a few minutes. But every word from Liza's mouth makes me wonder. I overanalyze every sentence. I hate myself for it.

My hand grazes the corner of the sink where Lianna had placed her belt. The cool surface brings a strange sensation of warmth. The feeling fades. There's no point in going to class now. I'm beyond late, but I couldn't wait here.

I throw my bag over my shoulder, hesitating only as I push the bathroom door open. The brief moment seems to hold the entire world suspended. The air has changed to cold and bleak. Inside the confines of the bathroom, I feel the last of summer sunshine die away.