Explicit [GirlxGirl - Complete]

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I can act like nothing is out of the ordinary. But acting like nothing is out of the ordinary and acting like I haven't been split into two are very different. The only other option is to do a complete reset. Reset my mind and reset my feelings. Seeing as that isn't truly possible, I've chosen to go the easiest next best option. I've shut down. Nothing comes out and nothing gets through.

And it isn't anyone's fault except mine that my life has gone to shit. I used to think it was all Lianna's fault. She was the one to come whirling into my life. The one who had changed everything with her lewd activities and flare that made everyone want her and hate her at the same time. The true answer to my problem had been my inability to feel anything. Well, except for the strong feelings I had for Liza.

Then, Lianna.

I curl my hands into fists at my side. The glass trophy case shoves my reflection back in my face. I look past the dark circles, droopy eyes, and deep frown. What I'm looking for isn't on my face and will never be. The picture among dozen of others I focus on is the one I'd seen the day Lianna had left the note in my locker to meet her in the gym. I hadn't known then what the picture meant or who it was in the photos.

I know now.

Carol was beaming in the photo. It was strikingly obvious it was her now once I made the connection, but I'd failed to see in the beginning. Carol, when I met her, was different than the young girl in the picture. The girl was like a sun with her own solar system rotating around her. I didn't have to be there to know that everyone drifted towards her without knowing why. I'd experienced that type of pull when Lianna was around. She'd gotten it from her mother.

I press my hand to the glass. The thoughtless act feels too intimate all of a sudden. I glance from the picture to my hand. I pull it away, a knot forming in the middle of my throat.

What am I doing here?

There had been no reason at all. I had come here with no other reason than to go back to where it had begun. This was the place where my life had changed.

I pull away from the glass. My reflection distorts until I can't tell my cheeks from eyes and my eyebrows from my hairline. The further I pull away the more I can feel my insides being twisted up. The sickness that is all too familiar hasn't been haunting me for a while, but I can sense it on the horizon.

It's today when it hits me. The gut-wrenching pain that ripples in my abdomen. I clench the strap of my bag. There's no time to process if what I think is happening is actually happening. I know what will happen if I don't make it to the bathroom in time.

My feet pound against the linoleum as I jog toward the bathroom door. I hold my stomach as the pain gets more intense. A cramp followed by another one punch their way through me. I'm nothing but a right of passage for them. I slam through the door, the knob hitting the brick wall before I can stop it. I sag against it as I catch my breath. The pain is worse than last time. It feels like a searing knife. I didn't know it could be so bad.

I knocked my head back A shaky sigh escaped from my tight lips. There was a second of relief and then another wave came over me. I bent over, gritting my teeth. This was way worse than last time. Way worse. There was a blinding white light that I couldn't get past. I looked up and stared right at the first stall.

The lock on the door was worn. Just like the one that had been on the stall in the main building. The same stall that Lianna had burst through.

I glared at the lock as if it were Lianna. All the pain disappeared for a second and the anger took me over. I put all my will into staring that damned lockdown. The will to make it move, make it explode off the door and disappear from this life, wasn't enough.