Explicit [GirlxGirl - Complete]

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

The scratching of the record finally became too much to handle. Lianna had shut it off, pulling the cord out of the plug, and had slid the record in its sleeve with the flick of her wrist as she had done almost a hundred times. I could see the past outline in her fingers. My eyes had traveled from those hands, up her wrists, up her arms, and to the nape of her neck. All the while I was thinking of how I was going to put my mark on her. She was an empty map and every valley was something new to explore.

I had gone back to my bedroom. When I sat down on my bed, I looked around my room.

Compared to Lianna's room, it was dark and cold. It was nothing like I had thought it was like before. It had once been a place that felt warm, inviting, and like I was Are inside its small walls. Now, I could see how anyone could have known I was fucked up in the head. I could see it now. My eyes had been opened to a new world and I knew then and there that I would not be able to go back to the past. I couldn't go back to the way that things were before.

Lianna had changed me.

There I was now. Here I was now. In this moment. Living and breathing and feeling like a real person should. I was alive.

For the first time, I was glad that I was.

Sometime between sitting down and me waking to my bedroom door opening, I had fallen asleep.

My arms were sprawled above my head. My back ached badly where I was lying in the most awkward position. The bed dipped. I saw the side of Mom sitting beside me. It didn't register for a second that she was there. It was like I was seeing her, but the images weren't going to my head. And then, when it hit me that she wasn't some image that I was imagining, I sat up.

She gave me a soft smile. I didn't know what for. It seemed different from all her other smiles. Something within me questioned what she was doing her. But that was the old Maya pushing her demons onto me. I was going to start over. I wasn't going to be the cold person that didn't let anyone in. I was going to make the change. I was going to be the new Maya who put her feelings on her sleeve.

She wasn't ashamed.

"Hey," I say and it comes out sounding like a croak. I clear my throat, shyly looking down a the bedspread.

I hadn't known how dirty it was until I was looking at it with a clear set of eyes. Thank god I had never let Lianna in here. Just thinking about her seeing the room that I was holed up in for long periods of time made my stomach churn and twist.

Even having Mom in here was embarrassing. She, at least, had the heart not to tell me to clean it up. Or, god forbid, call it a pigsty.

Everywhere I look, there is a stain of dirt. Like a mirror, my reflection, dirty and covered in grime, stares back at me. When I look at each tiny detail, I can see his handprints stained on me. My skin itches, but I can't bring my hands to move. That isn't me anymore. His hands are not upon me.

Instead, I imagine Lianna's hands. They're soft and inviting, casting notes of love that keep me grounded.

I smile and I can see Mom in the corner of my eyes giving me a curious look.

"Are you...?"

She doesn't see to finish her sentence. I can see it floating above her head, in her eyes, and flowing around her. The words spell themselves out before me and I get the chance to see them before she speaks them.

The silence seems to go on forever, but it doesn't seem to last long enough at the same time.

I want her to say the things that I can't. I want her to take the time to see the me that is lurking under the old skin that I have been wearing. She must know. She must see the changes in me. Perhaps she had been seeing them before I saw them myself.