Silent Screams

Don't hurt me

"How about when you take a shower? You are very dirty." Jay asked, eyeing his little son. He threw a towel to him and pointed to the bathroom.

Horrified, Ethan looked at him. Images and voices circled wildly in his head. "No!!!" he screamed. He quickly breathed in and out. He started hyperventilating while his body trembled, "Don't hurt me!" Tears streamed down his cheek. For fear of being hurt, Ethan fled under the bed and pressed himself against the wall, "Please let me go!"

"Ethan." Speechless, Jay looked briefly at Erin, who stood rooted to his side. Both did not know how to react, "Ethan. You are safe. I'm with you," Jay tried to talk to him. With slow steps, he moved to his son, "You're safe. Nothing can happen to you."

"Don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me!" the 8-year-old whimpered. Gently, Jay tried to reach for his son. He wanted to hug him, tell him he was safe, but Ethan fended off his handholds.

"No! Please don't! Please don't kill me!" he shouted as loud as his lungs would let him. Startled, Jay looked at his son.

"I will never hurt you. Ethan, I'm your dad." Jay tried to explain. His son's sudden change almost broke his heart. What was wrong with him? Why does he think he would do something to him?

"No!!! You're lying!!!" Ethan yelled.
"Jay!" Erin warned severely as he tried again to touch Ethan.

"Ethan. It's over. It's just me, Dad." again, Jay gently grabbed his child and caught Ethan's arm. Immediately Ethan began to scream even louder than before, "Let me go! I hate you! You're not my dad! Let me go!"

"Stop it, Jay!" Erin shouted, tearing her partner away from the boy. Jay did not understand anything anymore. Looking for help, he looked at his girlfriend. At the same time Natalie came in, who heard the cries of the child, "What's going on?" She asked confused.

"Ethan is afraid of us." Erin swallowed hard while Natalie looked at the frightened boy under the bed. She nodded silently and returned a little later with Sarah Reese.

"I want to talk to Ethan alone," Reese said.

With a heavy heart, Jay looked briefly at his son, who apparently did not accept him, and left the room with Erin.

They were at the children's ward, and the walls facing the hallway had a window front. Jay stood in despair, running his hands through his hair, trying to be as calm as possible. Erin put her hand on his shoulder, "He needs time."

"Did you see his eyes?" Jay swallowed hard.

"Classical case of post-traumatic stress disorder, short PTSD." Charles said and joined them, "Such a trauma is caused by an event."

"We did nothing. He just started screaming," Jay mumbled.

"Ethan should take a shower because he's so dirty," Erin explained.

"Was there any sign of mistreatment?" Charles, raising an eyebrow curiously. In his many years as a psychiatrist, he could only imagine which event was the trigger.

"No ... yes, but he was fine." Jay stammered.

"Erin, you said he should take a shower?" Charles for safety's sake. Erin nodded in agreement and so Dr. Charles continues, "Is it possible that Ethan was showered with hot water for punishment? At least it could explain his reaction and his fear."

"Ethan knows I'll never hurt him," Jay said.

"I rather believe that he is reliving a part of his kidnapping. He can't distinguish between real and unreal." Charles explained.

CPDCPDCPD

"Hello Ethan. My name is Sarah. You're scared, huh? You've been hurt a lot in the last few weeks, right?"

Ethan did not look at her, he did not flinch or nod. He simply ignored her. Impassive, he stared into the distance. He was still trying to process the message, but his brain was overwhelmed. Who was his daddy?

"Would you like to tell me what happened?" She asked softly and sat down on the floor with some safety distance to Ethan. She wanted to communicate on an equal footing and show him that he need not be afraid.

"Please don't hurt me." he whispered.

"Why do you think I hurt you?" Sarah asked softly.

"Please don't hurt me."

"The bad man hurt you a lot, didn't he? Don't worry, Ethan, he can't hurt you anymore." Sarah took a deep breath," Your daddy is very worried about you."

"He says he kills me."

"The bad man is in jail. He will never hurt you again."

"No, he." Ethan explained and raised his finger.

"He?" Reese looked horrified through the window to Jay.

"Ethan. Has your dad ever hurt you?"

"I think he's not my daddy."

"The bad guy just wants you to think your daddy isn't your dad," she explained, but Ethan just shook his head sadly, "They talked about a one night stand."

"Who was always there for you? Jay," she took another deep breath, "and believe me, Jay loves you. If you knew how much energy he invested in your search or had sleepless nights..."

"My daddy gave me away. He doesn't want me anymore and he kills children."

"I don't believe that. They just talked you into calming you and not running away." she looked worriedly at her little protege, "Why should your daddy free you from the bad man, or why did you hug your daddy so long, so tightly?"

He shrugged his shoulders helplessly. Of course, Ethan did not know the answer and Sarah knew why. Ethan had a panic attack and believed to have to suffer again. It was like Ethan reliving his kidnapping.

For a long time she talked to Ethan until his eyes fell from exhaustion. Sarah put Ethan back in the bed before stepping in front of Jay, Erin and the others.

"He is completely confused. He is concerned with the question of who his dad is now. In addition, a video was shown him where dead people were. He believes that it was Jay." Sahra said.

Erin realized that her partner was about to freak out. Desperately, Jay ran his hands through his hair, looking perplexed between the horrified faces of his colleagues and friends. Without even commenting, Jay left the children's ward and walked to the parking lot. Mouse hurried after him.

"Jay! Wait!" he yelled.

"Give me a reason why!" Jay hissed and turned to face him.

"Ethan." Mouse slowly approached his best friend, "Ethan. He needs you, even if he just can't show it."

"He's scared of me and he hates me."

"You are his dad, you can not just run away as soon as it gets difficult."

"Oh yes? Are you sure? My ex-girlfriend cheated on me. I love Ethan very much, but he thinks I'm a murderer." Jay snarled. Just the thought of it hurt.

"I'm pretty sure Ethan loves you too. You can't leave him alone. There's still a chance he's your son and Dulaney wasn't thinking because of jealousy," Mouse said.

Jay hesitated at first, looking at his best friend indescribably.

"Mouse. Are you doing me a favor and doing a paternity test? I want to know if Ethan is my son." Jay swallowed hard.

Mouse considered for a moment whether he should not protest that it was all mischief, but he complied with his friend's request.

"Where're you going?" Mouse asked curiously after Jay opened the GMC's car door.

"Thinking," Jay growled.

Authors Note

Should Jay really do the DNA test? What will come out? What do you think is Ethan the son of Jay Halstead?