Silent Screams

Parents feelings

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Gently, she stroked his forehead, removing a slightly longer strand of hair from his face. She watched him sleep peacefully, his chest rhythmically up and down in tact. Erin sighed slightly at the sight of the child. Her partner was gone, where he went she did not know. Even Mouse, who knew the boy for years, was gone. The other members of the intelligence disappeared into Molly's to celebrate the good news of Ethan. Will had shift and only partially looked after his nephew. It was as if the boy they were so searching for and missing would suddenly stop playing a role. After all, he was back, but still she did not understand Jay's behavior. What is more important to do than stay with your child?

Erin sighed softly. She gets a little sick of the thought of earlier. With the help of Sarah, Erin convinced the little boy to take a shower. The boy was clean now, no blood and dirt from the last few weeks were more visible. However, Ethan got a panic attack. The sisters grabbed the boy's arms and legs, tried to keep him quiet, and finally Natalie prescribed an injection for the boy. Since then he is sleeping. After Will found out about the injection, he freaked out. Sarah very much doubted Nat's action. It would destroy the newly built trust.

"Don't worry, my little friend, you can count on us. We only want your best." Erin whispered and pressed a small kiss on the forehead.

Slowly, the small body stretched and Ethan slowly opened his eyes. He looked around the room. Erin smiled at him slightly, "Hey. How do you feel?"

Unknowingly, Ethan shrugged his shoulders, "Where's my dad?"

"He's on the way; clear up a few things, but I'm sure he'll be back soon." Erin said.

"You stay with me?" He asked tiredly.

"Of course, as long as you want," Erin whispered, noticing that the boy had already fallen asleep again. No wonder, because the sedative syringes were heavily dosed.

After a while her eyes wandered to the hallway. She recognized Jay leaning against the window. Erin left the bedside and joined Jay.

"How is he?" Jay asked worriedly without taking his eyes off the sleeping boy.

"He misses his dad." Erin gently leaned against his left side and laid her head on his shoulder, "He got another panic attack. Nat gave him a sedative." She looked worriedly at her boyfriend. There was something about him that kept him from sitting next to his child. Erin could barely understand the behavior, because Jay finally had his beloved boy back.

"I know. Will told me," he muttered.

"Ever thought there was a reason why Dulaney didn't know anything about Ethan's existence?" Erin asked softly.

"She probably had no opportunity to tell him before she died," Jay said.

"Yeah, or she knew Ethan would have a better life with you." She gently reached for his hand, "Come on. Ethan will be happy to see you."

"I can't." Jay sighed, "Not until I know the truth."

"What would that change about your love for Ethan? He's your boy, Jay." Erin said.

She realized that her friend ignored her. He did not want to hear those words. Just looking through the glass to his alleged non son, who believes he is a bad man, confirmed Jay in this existing possibility.

"Family is more than DNA. Voight took me into his family and looked after me like I was his own daughter." Erin said, but quickly realized that was not the problem, "You want to find out if Anna cheated on you, huh?"

Jay nodded, who simply could not get that guess out of his head.

"In the last few weeks, you almost died of fear and worry and now you can barely look your son into the eyes?"

"Does he look like me at all? I mean, his hair is dark blond." Jay doubted.

"He has your eye color, Jay! Ethan can only be your son, I'm sure." Erin said.

It took her half an eternity to finally get him to go to his son. Hesitantly, Jay sat on the stool near the bed and watched his sleeping kid. After all, one of them got enough sleep.

"Where're you going?" Jay asked when he noticed Erin wanted to leave the room.

"I'll be back tomorrow, but I think you need a bit of time with your son," Erin said

"What if he gets another panic attack because he sees me?" Jay asked a little anxiously.

"Believe me, he won't," Erin said and Jay nodded.

He did not like it so much that Erin left him alone now. Again and again, Jay thought about what if Ethan was not his son. Then the boy would have lost his mom and dad because Dulaney goes to prison for child abduction and abuse.

Jay ran a hand through his hair. That's all nonsense. DNA test or not. Ethan was his boy, his child, his flesh and blood. After all, he was the only one who cared for the boy.

"Daddy," he yawned, stretching his small body.

"Hey buddy." Jay grinned slightly. Why he was grinning he did not know. Maybe because the child's voice was soft and gentle. It calmed him to hear the childlike voice, which did not panic. Ethan looked expectantly at his dad. The boy was quite calm, apparently waiting for Jay to speak.

"Listen to me. It's important that you know that man lied to you. He isn't your father and I didn't kill any children," Jay explained. It was damned important to him that Ethan quickly got that idea out of his head. But when Ethan neither nodded nor commented, Jay looked at him nervously. He bit his lower lip slightly, "Do you trust your dad?"

"Yes," Ethan answered softly with a certain undertone, so it sounded like a question.

"Then please do me a favor and forget everything he told you." Jay demanded and Ethan nodded.

"So, uh... you know, no matter what, I'm here for you. I'm your dad and I'll never hurt you."Jay stammered. He struggled with tears. He was sorry he did not want to know about Ethan for a moment. That he actually believed that Anna had an infidelity. Maybe she really did, but Erin's words made him think. Maybe Anna did protect Ethan because she knew how violent Dulaney can be. Affair or not. He gave her the promise to be there for Ethan. Forever.

Jay suddenly felt his little arms finding their way around his neck and the childlike face resting on his shoulder.

"Promise me you'll never give me away," Ethan whispered.

"I promise you." He gently kissed his forehead. For a while, father and son stayed in this position until Ethan slid completely into his father's lap. Jay wrapped his arms around his boy.

"Daddy, did you find the Dog Tag?" Ethan asked curiously. Although he was about to fall asleep again, he was wide awake at the thought.

"Sure." Jay answered and pulled out the chain, which he always carried with him since finding it out of his pocket. "I even repaired the chain."

"I lost the Dog Tag when he grabbed me and dragged me into the car because you had to find me," Ethan explained while hanging the chain around his neck.

"You didn't join him voluntarily," Jay asked in surprise. During the phone call, he understood it as if Ethan had joined voluntarily.

"No. You have forbidden me to go with strangers. That's why I called for help, but nobody heard me. Also, I knew you'd send Mouse, Will, Antonio or Erin if anything happened to you," Ethan said.

"You're so smart, do you know that? The Dog Tag was a great idea," Jay words were muffled by Ethan's hair as he kissed the boy's forehead. It was not long before Ethan fell asleep again.

"I love you very much." Jay whispered into his ear, then used the time to type Mouse a message while Ethan slumbered on his lap

I don't need a DNA test to know that Ethan is a Halstead - J.