Blurry is the Line Between Love and Lust: A Tears of Shame Novel [EDITING]

Chapter 16: My Punishment

Hope you like this chap.  

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Recap chap 15:

"Will you stay with me? I need you." I couldn't have left her so vulnerable and alone. I knew I could never have left her. I spoke the truth in my heart.  

"I'll never leave you. I'd die without you." That was honesty. That was truth.

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Chapter 16: My Punishment

Arianna POV

A week had passed. Had it really been that long? It felt like I was there, inside my private hell. I felt his hands; they still touched me, struck me at times. I tried to ignore it, push it away, but I wasn't able to. I was constantly surrounded by friends and loved ones, Xavier, Zander, and Maria, yet I never felt so alone. Ronan avoided me like the plague. I couldn't endure his constant silence. I needed to talk to him, explain things, but this was not the day for it. This was judgment day.

The King was to decide Selene's fate. I wanted her to suffer for what she'd done. I thought it would bring an end to my pain, but I couldn't have that on my conscience. Why had I cared? I hadn't. Not for her, but I still cared for Ronan. My actions, and his, led us to this point. So I should have continued to be in pain, longer after her suffering had ended.

I couldn't have faced her. I couldn't have looked her in the eyes. So I waited for the verdict silently in my room. My thoughts should have been on my wedding tomorrow, but I only thought of Ronan. I had to make this right. Why had I still felt this way? I cared about him , even still. There was no other answer.

The verdict came quickly. Xavier spared me the details, stated only that the King himself ended her life. I hadn't thought about it. I couldn't have. I only thought of Ronan and the pain he must have endured, his heartbreak for her, and me.

"We're getting married tomorrow." Xavier attempted to remove the worry from my mind. It hadn't worked.

"A wedding dress, that's sure to accentuate the scars. I might as well run around naked, shouting 'I was brutally beaten and attacked.'" I scoffed. I was angry at the thought that everyone knew and everyone would have talked about what happened. I couldn't even enjoy the one day that should be the happiest day of my life. This was my fault. If I hadn't gotten involved with Ronan in the first place, none of thiw would have happened. I had to live with it, but I hadn't liked it.

"Aria, don't say that. You'll be beautiful. You ARE beautiful." He embraced me, tried to comfort me but it wasn't enough.