Blurry is the Line Between Love and Lust: A Tears of Shame Novel [EDITING]

Chapter 21: Confessions and Revelations

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Recap chap 20:

She would have seen me as she'd seen Gabriel, a monster, a ravenous, hideous monster. I lost control and it had cost me something precious. I couldn't bear to have looked into those wounded eyes again. So full of pain and shame for what I'd done to her. I had to leave. I packed a small bag and left swiftly.

I had to leave and never return.

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Chapter 21: Confessions and Revelations

Arianna POV

I curled up on my window seat, drew my knees to my chest and waited for Zander to arrive. He had promised that he would check on me while Xavier was away on business. I needed to confess, to have shared the burden of my secret, although I had no one else to share my pain. I had to tell someone, I couldn't have faced it alone. I stared into the wet, dreary morning.

Rain beat heavily against the window pane. It mirrored the tears that fell from my eyes. I couldn't have done it, exposed Ronan for what he'd done. It would have meant death to him. I couldn't have been responsible for that. I thought in time, I could have forgiven him, I may have started already.

I wanted to see him, talk to him, let him explain and gravel for absolution, but I couldn't. The pain was fresh and the shame was deep. It was a whirlpool of blackness. I tried as hard as I could have, but I couldn't have escaped it. And so it began again, the cycle of pain and lies, anger and betrayal. Fate had a cruel hand that beat heavily on me.

I heard a gentle knock on my door. I knew it had to have been Zander, so I invited him in.

"Good morning Aria. How are you on this dreariest of days?" He had that right, it was the dreariest day I'd ever experienced in my existence. He must have noticed something was wrong because he came to me immediately.

"Why have you been crying?" He was concerned. I hadn't answered, I need to gather courage.

"Arianna, you look like hell. I say that as a friend and someone who loves you. Don't take it the wrong way." I'd heard those words before, and not in a dissimilar context. I still gathered courage.

"Please tell me what's wrong. You're not upset that Ronan left are you? It's probably for the best." He commented with compassion.