Blurry is the Line Between Love and Lust: A Tears of Shame Novel [EDITING]

Chapter 29: Does This Mean You're Not Mad

So here's chap 29... hope you enjoy:) this is one of my favorites as well. 

PLEASE Comment & Vote... let me know what you think :)

**********************************************************************************************

Recap chap 28:

I walked to my room and prepared myself for bed. I knew what needed to be done. I just hadn't found the courage to have done it. It would have been better to tell Xavier in the morning any way. He would have started the day fresh and I had hoped in a understanding mood. I crawled into my bed of lies and snuggled up close to him. I allowed my fears to escape me for one night. Before I drifted to sleep, one last thought occurred to me.

The day of reckoning was upon me. I'd prayed I would have made it out alive.

*************************************************************

Chapter 29: Does This Mean You're Not Mad

Arianna POV

I had awoken earlier than I had intended the next morning. I had a daunting task ahead and I had no desire to have faced it. I was a coward, a pitiful, shameful coward. I quickly and quietly showered and dressed. I had intended to head to the garden and spend precious alone time figuring out how the hell I would have explained this to Xavier and preparing for whatever reaction he would have had. But before my feet hit the door, I was inundated by overwhelming nausea. Great, I could have done without that, thanks baby!

I made my way to the bathroom and heaved into the gleaming porcelain bowl. I felt awful, sweat beaded on my forehead, palms sweaty. I was as quiet as humanly possible. Too bad I'd married a vampire. When I looked up from my place on the floor, Xavier had been waiting. He leaned against the door frame in his black silk boxers, long hair ruffled from the night's sleep. He would have been sexy, except his brows furrowed in disapproval. Stupid vampire advanced hearing!

"Going somewhere?" He inquired. I hesitated. Shit! Hesitation was bad. I had to have come up with something better than not saying anything at all.

"You're not sneaking out are you Aria?" He was skeptical. I knew I should have come up with some excuse.

"No. I was just..." I had nothing. Damn. All the lies had taken a toll on my reserved excuses. I should have stayed up last and figured something out. Instead I climbed into my bed of lies and ignored the horrible situation that I had created for myself. I sighed.

"Are you sick? Have you been throwing up again?" He was concerned. He had always been concerned. He wouldn't have been so concerned if he had known the truth.

"No. I was just..." I still had nothing. Damn!

"Repeating yourself? Now I know you're hiding something." He scolded me with his eyes. I hated it when he treated me like a child. It infuriated me. Of course I had acted like a child. I had lied and went behind his back so I hadn't gotten myself in trouble.

He grabbed my hand, led me to the bed, sat me down and curled up on the bed across from me. I searched the sheets. Maybe they had an excuse I could have used. He lifted my chin up. His molten gold eyes bore into mine. They tried to discern what I'd been thinking.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He asked confidently.

"No, not really." I shrugged as I responded. What the hell would I have said? 'Good morning your brother raped me after I led him on for months and now I'm pregnant. Gee, hope you're the father.' That would not have gone well and I still had Ronan to protect.

My face started flushing and anxiety rushed through my body. Could I have told him the truth this time? I desperately wanted to, I was just too afraid. Not for myself, I had always known that Xavier would never hurt me, but for Ronan. I still loved him, cared about him. That would have always been the same. He had a piece of my heart, a piece I hadn't wanted to get ripped to shreds when Xavier figured things out and ripped his head off.