Me, Myself, and Him

Chapter 15: Facing Facts

Peridot POV

I... I can't believe it.

I stood in front of the computer after finishing the final log, completely immobile. I couldn't find the will to move.

I didn't care about this human. I didn't care about the fact that the Crystal Gems had a past with this human. I didn't even care about the fact that the Crystal Gems tried to recreate the Kindergarten. I could confront all those facts later.

All that mattered right now was that last log.

...The only way to remove the infection is to remove the eye from the creature, which results in immediate death...

...Anti-depressants can help quell the symptoms, but that's just about it...

There is no cure.

No.

No, there was no way that's possible. N-No. There... There has to be a solution, right? Maybe... Maybe the human wasn't smart enough to make a cure. I mean, he was an organic life form. He must have left some research notes behind. This... This can't be all there is?

I looked through the piles of papers on the desk and, thank the stars, I found the research notes.

"Okay, this cloddy human may have given up hope, but I won't go down so easily." I said, looking over his notes. "All I have to do is find the obvious errors in his work, correct them, and... and..."

There were no errors in his notes.

This human had explored every possible avenue with perfect precision and accuracy. He... He didn't make any mistakes, he left no idea unexplored...

He tried everything and he still failed.

"No... No, this can't be all there is! He... He couldn't have failed after doing all this! The... Maybe he forgot to factor out... no, he did that. Well, maybe he... no, he did that too..."

My head started spinning and my chest started to get tighter.

"No... Nonononono! There has to be something else! Something he missed!"

Genetic splicing? He tried that.

Alpha particle purification? He tried that too.

He tried every possible method and theorized on every impossible one.

There really is no cure.

My eyes started filling up with tears and my hands started to shake.

"No... I... I can't lose Lapis. Not now that I have so much to say to her, so many things I wanna do with her... She trusted me to find a cure... and I failed her..."

The tears that filled my eyes started streaming down my face.

"Wha... What do I do..."

I felled to my knees as I clutched my face, sobbing hard into my hands. The memories of everything that happened in the past between me and Lapis started flowing freely into my mind.

"I... I did so many horrible things to her... And I wanted to make things better. *sniff* I just wanted to help her... But I can't."

Lapis would never get any better, I'll never see her genuinely smile again. She'll never be able to think normally again. We'd never be able to make meep-morps without her looking over her shoulder for someone who wasn't even there. She'll never have control over her life again...

I cried for who knows how long. I was out of time, out of options... out of hope.

This... This was all their fault...