Me, Myself, and Him

Chapter 11: Making connections

Lapis POV

I'm having a mental breakdown. That's the only possible explanation to what just happened.

Okay, let's just recap tonight's events.

1) I just got a panic attack after going to a party in an old dingy "Warehouse".

2) This random group of guys start flirting with me and made me the more uncomfortable than when I first found out I was living in the same place as Peridot

3) I did a full tailspin and knocked a human's face in... without even controlling any of my movements or even realizing I was being attacked.

If this day wasn't scary enough already, it was completely terrifying now.

I looked over at Gray to see what had happened. Then I saw something that will haunt my memories for the rest of my life.

Gray was in the exact same position as me, throwing the exact same punch as me, towards the same exact person as I was. What was he doing? Why was he throwing a punch if he can't hit anybody? Then it hit me.

The lack of control of my movements, Gray copying my movements. It all made too much sense.

He was controlling my every move. I had lost complete control of my body.

I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes. This... this was the final straw. I had officially lost all control over my life. I have no control...

But there's no real need for control is there?

After all, when someone else is pulling the strings, the blame falls on them right?

I'm free to enjoy every single thing Gray can think up without ever needing to worry about what others will think of me. What I could do to others. It's not my fault, after all. It's the puppeteer's.

The tears were now streaking down my face. What's the point of crying, though? If anything, this was liberating. It was AMAZING how free and relaxed I felt under someone else's control. Like, the weight of the world had been lifted right off my shoulders.

What. The. Fuck.

Grey had finally spoken up after all this time. He seemed surprised, scared even. Why should he be, though? He's the one who gets to have all the fun now. I'm just here for the ride at this point.

I started to laugh to myself. I still had control of my head, my voice. So why not use those?

"What's the matter, BABY? Can't handle a little rough stuff?" I said, looking down at the asshole that tried to hit me with a smirk. 

He tried to hit me.

And Grey came to my rescue, defending me like a knight in shinning armor.

So what if I sacrificed my free will? Small price to pay in exchanged to getting knocked out and used to fill out whatever sick thoughts ADAM had cooking up in his head. 

Grey had taken a slight step back, and my body mirrored the movements. He looked over to me, and I looked over to him.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!? STOP ANTAGONIZING HIM AND HIS FRIENDS!!! WE'RE LEAVING LAPIS, COME ON!

I stared right passed him. I looked to the crowd of people who had formed around me. My tears were still streaking out of my eyes, but I was still cackling.

"DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO KEEP DANCING WITH ME?" I yelled out in between laughs. Everyone had slowly started backing away.

That's it. I'm leaving.