Me, Myself, and Him

Chapter 18: Feelings for You

Lapis POV

"Should I tell her?"

I don't know why you're asking the question.

"You know why..."

No, not really.

"Augh, why are you making this more dificult than it needs to be?"

Why are you? Can you turn the page over for me now?

It had been a few hours since the medicine that Peridot gave me finally took affect. I honestly didn't think they would do much, but they worked extremely well. It felt like all the pain and nausea was just a ghost of a memory now. I had been up and about, cleaning the mess I had made over the past couple days. I eventually finished with that, and decided to do some 'drawing', a meep-morp technique Peridot taught me. 

Although with all honesty, my mind was nowhere near focused on what I was actually drawing.

"What do you mean 'why are you?'" I said as I turned the report page over for Gray. "And... Why are you still reading that thing? I thought there was no... whatever, I don't wanna think about that right now".  He was completely immersed in some pages of the report Peridot accidentally left behind.

I don't know. It's just... familiar to me, you know? Like I was the one who wrote this... And what I MEAN is that you know the answer to your own question. Which is why I don't get why you're asking it.

"It's just... What if she doesn't feel the same way? She's been really nice recently, but that could be out of pity. Who would actually 'like' someone like me, sick with... whatever this is. I just... don't wanna leave things unsaid, you know?"

Okay Lapis, think about that statement for a second. You're claiming that this person, a person who you talked my ear off about when we first met on how she was 'So nice' and 'a real friend' towards you, a person who stuck by you're side when you were losing your mind, a person who cried actual tears of pain and remorse when she heard you were gonna... you think this person doesn't genuinely care about you? That's gotta be the dumbest shit I've ever heard, and I've only been around for like... a week.

Yes, if you couldn't tell, I was thinking about a way to tell Peridot my 'true' feelings about her. She had just been so... nice to me recently, and so genuine. This only added on to my small crush I had on her before all this that turned into full blown affection towards the small little gem. That, coupled with recent 'revelations', pushed towards the mindset of finally coming clean to Peri.

I was obviously afraid of what she would say back to me. Even if Gray did make a point.

Uh, Lapis?

But why would she have any real reason to like me like I like her? Maybe she only cares about me in a friendship kind of way.

Lapis, you're zoning out.

Yeah, there it is, the most logical explanation. We were just really good friends. Peridot would be proud of me, using logic like that.

Lapis...

Oh, great. Now I'm thinking about her again. Hear comes the blushing and the sweet thoughts. Augh...

You know, I actually know her true feelings for you.

Okay, just calm down. All you have to do is convince yourself you're just friends and you'll be-

Wait what.

"What did you just say?" I said, whipping around to face Gray.

I said: I know her true feelings for you.