Me, Myself, and Him

Chapter 23: The monsters on the hill

Lapis POV

Concentrate.

That's all I had to worry about.

I don't need to focus on anything.

I don't need to focus on Gray or anything he says to me.

I don't need to focus on the things he did to the Crystal Gems.

I don't need to focus... on Steven.

I just. Need. To concentrate.

I knew we were flying far, farther than anywhere I had seen before. But that was about as much as I was aware of my immediate surroundings.

I wasn't even concentrating on my physical form, leaving me nothing more than a voice in the back of Gray's head. That didn't matter, what mattered was concentration.

Gray was weak, fighting against the Crystal Gems did my body no favors. And it was quickly becoming apparent. His eyes were struggling to stay wide, and his mouth was hanging open. He probably didn't have enough willpower left to keep control, and I was betting on that.

And just like that, it snapped.

"H-Hey... I don't feel s-so good..." Gray stuttered, trying to keep his (or rather MY) eyes open. "L-Lapis... What the h-hell are you doing b-back the..."

He couldn't even finish his sentence before he went completely limp and plummeted into the nearby hillside with a large crash.

The giant wings he had formed quickly disappeared, as well as the blade. I soon saw Gray's actual form shoot out of my body, stumbling backwards before falling.

"W-What the hell happened?" He asked, surprised.

Now's my chance.

I quickly re-assumed my physical form and rushed over to my body, and quickly took back control.

Control...

I quickly shot up from the ground, hacking and coughing up dirt and spit. I had severely underestimated how much damage the Crystal Gems did to me, as my entire body ached all over, the pain was almost unbearable. My senses slowly started returning to, and I started to let heavy streams of tears pour out of my eyes. The clouds above me were starting to form into a terrible storm, and the ocean in front of me was becoming violently choppy.

"Y-You... Y-You killed him... You KILLED Steven. He was only a kid. YOU JUST MADE ME KILL A CHILD, MY FRIEND!!" He sobbed.

O-Oh come off it, Lazuli. You did jack shit to help me. I'm t-the one who made the cut...

I whipped my head and twisted my face into an angered glare. "DO YOU EVEN FEEL ANY REMORSE?!? YOU JUST MADE ME FIGHT MY OWN FRIENDS, THE PERSON I LOVED, AND MADE ME KILL A CHILD, AND ALL YOU CAN DO HIS BICKER ABOUT HELP?!?" I screamed.

YOU DON'T THINK I REGRET IT?!? I JUST KILLED A CHILD, LAPIS!! I'M NOT A MONSTER!! BUT I DID WHAT WAS RIGHT!!! ONE LESS CRYSTAL GEM IN THE WORLD IS BETTER FOR EVERYONE!! THEY'RE MONSTERS!!!

"AND YOU'RE NOT?!? YOU JUST KILLED SOMEONE, YOU HURT OTHERS WITH OUT REMORSE, AND YOU'RE DOING HORRIBLE THINGS TO MY MIND AND BODY!!! YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS THE PEOPLE YOU DESCRIBED!!!" I slowly started to get up, my legs almost giving out. Everything was fuzzy and wrong. It was like I wasn't really... adjusted to my own body.