Just In Case

Prologue

Trina Lawson.

A name.

An identity.

But soon.

Just a statistic.

I read the words that I neatly wrote in my journal. I found myself once again sitting on the noisy paper, covering that depressing doctors bed. My Dad sits in the corner on his cell phone and my Mother stands by my side, holding my arm.

If you ask any cancer patient what they hate the most about having cancer, they will tell you its the look. That's the look that people give you when they know you have cancer. It's sympathy and pure horror. As if I may die any second. My Mom has that look every time she looks at me or even thinks of me.

"Where's that stupid doctor?" My mom asked as she held back tears. She's been holding back tears ever sense I was 6 years old.

"He's not stupid mom. He graduated medical school at Harvard." I stated but didn't look up from my journal.

"I know honey. I just hate waiting." She explained. I didn't reply because there wasn't anything to say.

The room was filled with silence. A silence I have grown to know and hate. It was too empty yet too full all at the same time.

The silence interrupted when the door swung open without a creek and Dr. Oliver walked in. He was studying his clip board.

"What's the news? How's the chemo been working? Is she getting better? Or is she getting worse?" My mom attacked him with questions then squeezed my arm tighter.

"Mom, ow." I said.

"Trina's body has excepted the new chemo. It has been known to work best but it does have the most side effects. We haven't seen any changes but I promise next time you come in we will." Dr. Oliver explained.

I have acute lymphocytic leukemia and with my old chemo treatment I was in the third stage of chemo which was Maintenance. I was in it for about 2 and half years until I relapsed and it stopped working. Now were trying something new.

"Good changes?" My mom asks and a single tear streamed down her cheek.

"If bad changes were to happen they would have done so already. But there is always risk." Dr. Oliver said as he sat in front of the computer.

"Oh honey." My mom cried out and hugged me. I just looked at Dr. Oliver and rolled my eyes.

I have one parent that completely avoids the 'c' word and another that is cancer crazy. Its a lose lose situation for me.

"So is that all?" My dad asked finally looking up from his phone.

"Yes. We will see you next week Trina." Dr. Oliver smiled at me.

"You better count on it." I smiled back as I closed my journal and got off the bed. I wasn't exactly pumped to count white blood cells again but it kept my parents happy. They like to think they are doing everything to help.

I left the room first and my parents followed. As we walked out of the hospital I could hear my parents arguing behind me. They tried to be quiet so I couldn't hear so I pretended I couldn't. We drove home with that suffucating silence. It was truely horrid.

As we pulled into my driveway I noticed a big bus in the driveway next door. There were four boys pulling suitcases and boxes out of the back. I hadn't seen them before so I figure they were new.

"Maybe we'll have to go visit the new neighbors tomorrow." My mom smiled at me and walked with me into the house.

"I have school tomorrow." I said as I began walking upstairs.

"I don't see why you insist on staying in public school." I heard my Dad mumble from the couch. I ignored him and continued my way upstair to my bedroom.

My room had lilac colored walls and Christmas lights on the ceiling. I had a desk in front of my window and my bed was in the center on my room. It was queen sized and looked like paradise. I took off my brunette wig and laid it on my desk. I've gotten to enjoy not having hair. It a lot more comfortable than a wig. I flopped down on my comfortable bed and before I knew it I was asleep

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