camp || m.c. (on hold)

five

The picnic was pure torture. Michael was coping with a depressive episode, and Sarah was distant and slightly spacey. Even as the dinner was served, I couldn't help but wish that I was back at home, or even back in my cabin, really. Anything to get away from these people that were legitimately happy.

I stuffed a final bite of mashed potatoes into my mouth and stood, my bottle of water in hand. They didn't serve any drink other than water here, because apparently 'caffeine hampers the healing process'. I didn't give a flying fuck about the healing process, I needed a goddamn Mountain Dew! I huffed in frustration and smoothed crumbs off of my jeans and tee shirt, and started to walk away, but Sarah hastily grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me back down beside her.

"You haven't been accepted yet!" she reprimanded me, and I groaned slightly before leaning back on my hands.

"I don't want to be accepted into your stupid cult; I just want to sleep. It's been a long ass day." Sarah shook her head firmly, and redirected her attention to the pier, where a podium was set up. I noticed that the dark haired boy had moved, and I scanned the crowd for any sign of him. I was disappointed when I didn't see him; I assumed that it was Calum, the other boy with social anxiety.

Rod loped over to the podium and leaned against it, tapping the microphone with an index finger. Everyone turned their attention toward him, even Michael, who had been staring off into space for a good twenty minutes.

"Hey, everyone. I'm Rod, as most of you are aware, and I'm the head counselor at Camp Hill. We have a few unfamiliar faces in the crowd, so we'll just say hi now. Hey new folks." Rod's eyes rested on me, and I shied away, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Anyways," Rod continued, "We all know that this isn't just an acceptance picnic, this is also a dismissal picnic. Saying goodbye to those that will be leaving our ranks as changed people. This month, we have four. Goodbye to Silvia, Parker, Luanne, and James. Keep in touch, you four!" Everyone clapped, and I felt obliged to despite the fact that I didn't even know what any of those four people looked like. I rested my cheek on my fist and looked at Sarah boredly. She just held a hand up, as if telling me to wait, and refocused on Rod.

"New folks, we hope you find friends fit for a lifetime here at Camp Hill. Even amongst our counselors, Luke, Lola, Blaire, and Ashton, there are great qualities to be found in this group and friendships to be developed here. Now, how's about an acceptance bonfire? Veterans, show the newbies to the pit!" Everyone cheered and rose from where they were sitting, and I nearly stumbled as I stood as well. Sarah caught my arm and gave me a reassuring smile. She practically dragged me in the direction everyone else was going, even though I had two legs and was perfectly capable of managing on my own.

"Sarah, I swear to God, if you don't let go of me--" I threatened between my ragged gasps for air. It felt like I had run a marathon, when in reality I had been pulled up two flights of wooden steps and dragged not even a mile into the woods. I was so out of shape. Sarah released my hand with an apologetic smile, and we walked side by side up to what the other campers called the Pit.

It was a gigantic firepit, with a stack of wood in the center and kindling off to the side. Stones surrounded the large dirt area, and wood benches surrounded the stones. It reminded me of one of those old camping scenes in a movie, where you sat around a campfire singing songs and roasting marshmallows. Only here, you could probably roast an elephant over the massive bonfire.

"Damn," I breathed, inspecting the Pit from every angle. "What is this for?" Sarah just gestured for me to pay attention to Luke, who was attempting to calm the raucous crowd. He finally got them settled down with a little bit of effort, and we all picked a seat around the Pit. I tossed my long blonde hair over my shoulder and listened carefully to Luke.

"For all you new guys, the acceptance bonfire is the first step into becoming a changed person. This bonfire signifies this camp, and the kindling that goes into this bonfire signifies the life you're leaving behind. So, as a tradition, the newbies will be discarding one item from their past and will be throwing it into the flames. You're throwing away the bad to make way for the new. You can cut pieces of your clothing off, or toss a necklace, or anything else you have in mind. But you must put something into the bonfire."

Murmurs rippled throughout the crowd, and I thought for a moment. What did I want to throw away? He did say that this was the first step to becoming a changed person, and I wanted just that with every ounce of my being. So I knew exactly what I wanted to put in the bonfire.

Luke made his way around the circle, dismissing the new campers one by one to throw something into the fire that was being coaxed to life. By the time Luke reached me, the fire was at its full height. I held my hand out for the scissors, and Luke gladly presented them to me and nodded his head over to where the fire was blazing brightly. I squeezed the cool metal tightly, savoring the feeling.

I walked slowly and purposely to the edge of the fire, staying far enough back so that it wouldn't singe me, but close enough that I could touch the fire if I tried. My fingers closed around the scissors, and in one swift movement, half of my hair was gone. I was left with a sort of lopsided bob, longer on one side, which I was completely okay with. It was different. Like I wanted to be. I tossed the cut hair into the fire and turned back to where Luke was standing with a big grin on my face. I handed the scissors to Luke and he smiled at me, moving onto the next person.

"You're insane!" Sarah was gaping open-mouthed at me, and I ran my fingers through my shortened hair.

"We all are, in reality." I smiled a little at her, and she shook her head in disbelief.

"It actually looks extremely cute," she admitted, taking me by surprise. I blushed, eyeing my shoes with an intensity I had never had before. I blushed a lot. It was just something I had always done.

The bonfire was beginning to dwindle as the last person threw in a bracelet, and I was beginning to feel the long day's toll. My eyelids drooped slightly as Sarah and I walked in silence back to our cabin, and I yawned several times on the way.

When we finally settled in bed, Sarah on her laptop and me with a book, I was relieved. Some time to relax and dwell on the day's events.

"So...you and Michael really hit it off, huh?" Sarah jested lightly, and I rolled my eyes.

"If by 'hit it off' you mean my inability to speak for a good 5 minutes and our obvious discomfort when talking about why we were actually here, then yes."

"No one likes talking about their disorders. It's kind of a greeting here, though, and it's weird. When I was younger, my parents always told me never to tell anyone about my insomnia. It was our little secret. But here, everyone is so open about it. It's almost as normal as telling someone your first name. Like hi, my name is Sarah and I have insomnia and chronic depression." Sarah chuckled a little. "You know when in kindergarten you had to say your name, age, and an interesting fact about yourself?" I nodded, "Now it's like, we get your name, age, and medical condition." Sarah was full on laughing now, and I couldn't help but join in. Her giggles were contagious.

"It's just weird. I feel like I'm just drawing attention to the fact that I don't want to be paid attention to," I sighed after we finished laughing. Sarah nodded knowingly.

"You'll get used to it. Pretty soon you won't even have to worry about it."