This Is Me

Apologizing

When we got inside Natsu when straight to his room and locked it. I went into the kitchen to make snacks. I don't understand why.. I shouldn't say that because I probably do understand. Does he really like me?
*unlocks door*
"Natsu I made snacks if you want any...?"
"Thanks, but I'm heading out."
"Where to?"
"I'll be back."
"Oh.. okay.."
He leaves and I'm standing there confused. He usually tells me where he's going. He's really mad at me isn't he?
While I'm thinking and thinking and thinking, I surprisingly finished my homework and ate dinner. I sit on my bed staring at my phone for Natsu to answer the text I sent. But there was no answer and it was getting late.
I managed to take a nap until he came home. But he came home at one a.m.
"Natsu!!! I texted you and you didn't reply."
"Oops sorry, I'm going to bed now."
"Where have you been?"
"Lucy, stop worrying about me. I'm fine!"
"I can't stop worrying about you!! You mean so much to me!"
"Let it go."
"What do you mean 'let it go'?"
"Find somebody else to worry about."
He slams the door on my face and I crouched down on the floor leaning on his door crying.

The next morning I got ready before him and just left for school by myself. I figured because he was mad at me, he didn't want anything to do with me.
I reached the school and saw Erza waiting for me.
"Hey Lucy!"
"Hi.."
"What happened last night?"
"Natsu's mad at me, he left last night not telling me where he was going. He told me to find somebody else to worry about."
"That doesn't sound like him?"
I shrug my shoulders, signaling like it's a 'whatever'.
"Want me to talk to him?" Erza asked.
"It's not like you're gonna change what he's thinking."
"Haha! That's where your wrong."
Gray managed to walk by and Erza called him over
"Hey Gray can you walk Lucy to class??"
"Sure! C'mon Lucy."
"Thanks Gray...
Erza waved us goodbye and kept standing where she was.
   Natsu soon appeared in Ezra's vision. She walked toward him and he looked at her confused.
   "Natsu?"
   "Yeah?"
    "What the hell were you thinking?"
   "About what?"
   "Leaving last night to god knows where!!?"
   "That's none of your business."
   "Yes it is, you scared Lucy and you made her cry!"
   "She shouldn't worry about me anymore."
   "Just because she can't reciprocate your feelings now, doesn't mean she will in the future. You're her best friend and you know her better then anyone. Which makes her hurt more! Why are you acting so cold!?"
   "Because she doesn't realize how much she hurting me also!!"
   "Man up Natsu! If you want her to have feelings for you then start acting romantic and give her a date she deserves instead of leaving her behind in the dust to cry!"
   "...."
   "Bet you were with your ex weren't you."
   "That's none of your business."
   "Pathetic."
Erza walks away from the gloomy situation and heads to class. As for Natsu, he skipped the morning classes to go into the woods to sulk. Lunch time comes around and I didn't feel like being with everyone and them asking so many questions.
"Hi Erza, can we eat alone today for lunch?"
"Of course, where we eating?"
"Um, how bout the the bench behind the school?"
"Sounds peaceful, alright let's go then."
When we were packing our things up and started to head out, we bump into the sulking pink haired Natsu..
"Natsu you alright?" I asked because I was genuinely concerned, because he was of course my best friend.
"Can we have lunch together, alone?"
" I was going to have-"
"It's okay Lucy I'll eat with the others.." Erza gives me a smile and hugs me goodbye.
"Okay Natsu, where we eating?"
"The football bleachers?"
"Okay." I was nervous, I didn't know what to expect.
We proceed to the football stadium. On our way there I decided to grab his hand for comfort reasons, he didn't pull away or resist my hand. But he did intertwined his fingers. Our bodies move closer due to holding hands and in a flash we're already to our destination. We sit down on the bleachers and Natsu takes my hands and looks at me. He takes a breath and starts speaking.
"Luce, I'm sorry that I've been so cold to you lately. I don't know what's wrong with me. But I just hate that every time someone speaks or teases us you pull back. And I just can't shake the feeling of me falling for-..." he pauses and starts tearing up.
"keep going.." i encourage him and hug his hands closer to my chest, as if to hug a puppy.
"Luce.....I'm falling for you...and I can't control it. I don't want our relationship to change except for us getting closer as we were doing before. I know you don't feel the same, but I'm warning you now. Imma try my best to change your mind.."
In that moment my heart stopped, and my stomach jumped off a helicopter in the air. My heart begins to race when I look into his eyes. I wondered what Erza did this morning when I left her. But then that thought quickly went away when I see Natsu's lips reach my hands..
"Natsu.. I apologize for hurting you before. I knew you were mad at me last night. I was worried about-"
"I should be the one apologizing, I left without telling you. It was an anger move, I knew you didn't understand, so I had to release it somewhere."
"Where did you go??"
"My ex...."
"To have sex with Lisanna???"
"..yes.."
"Oh."
"I'm sorry.."
"Don't apologize, it's fine.."
"It's not Lucy. I love you.."
My eyes start tearing up and tears fall into my lap, I'm so overwhelmed with feelings. With anger, passion, sadness, love. I'm so very confused on what to do and what to say. He takes his thumb and wipes my tears away, we have a moment with our hands wrapped together.
"I know it's a lot right now, but I promise to show you happiness and love you deserve."
"Natsu.."
"What?"
"You already do, you show me so much more then that too."
"And I'm going to continue to show you that. Just promise me this, don't pull or push me away anymore."
"But-"
"I want you to be open about it. About us.."
"Okay.."
He puts his forehead against mine and we sit there in silence for a minute. We part and start heading back to the school, we intertwine our hands and I don't know what to think anymore. Should I really be open to us being in a relationship? Will it be okay? I look at his side profile and think for a moment. He looks back at me and gives me a toothy smile. Just then my heart starts to flutter. What is happening?