Chapter: 11

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Saturday
August 19th 2018
2:35 am

Oscar

We stayed behind after the cops left to help clean up the house, Gazzy clung to me the whole time.
I liked it, I liked the feeling of holding a child in my arms, knowing this is what It would have felt like if Tyla would have had our baby.

I noticed Leilani's mom staring me.
She was beautiful, like Leilani and the rest of her kids. I don't understand how a woman like her could be with a man like that.

She walked up to me. "Hi." She said softly.
I smiled a her as I rubbed Gazzy's back.
"Thank you for everything." She said as she started to cry. I pulled her into the best hug u could with Gazzy in my arms.

"I really appreciate all you've done, Gazzy and Gio talk about you so much, they really love you." She said smiling. I smiled back. "I love them too."
--
Gazzy was asleep now, I walked him to his and Gio's room and laid him down on his bed.
I kissed his forehead as I tucked him in.
I would kill for this little boy.

He already meant the world to me, I would have killed his father tonight for what he did.
I think it Gazzy got hurt, I'd be in prison again.

When i walked out of his room I noticed Leilani in the bathroom, I knocked on the door and she turned around. Something in her eyes changed when she saw me, they lit up.

She looked down at my hands, I didn't even realize they were bloody and cut up.
"Come here." She whispered.
Her voice was broken and raspy.

I watched her as she softly cleaned my hands in the sink, she was really precious.

To think anyone could hurt someone so sweet and soft really pissed me off.

I know i wasn't the best person, I've killed I've sold drugs I've done fucked up shit.

Never in my life would I do what he did.

"You're all cleaned up." She said as she gave me a smile. I ran my thumb down her cheek.
She looked me directly in my eyes, it's not something she did often, I noticed she hated eye contact.
It probably came from being abused so much.

She didn't look away from me, it's like we were stuck. I leaned in slightly, and stopped it was my way of asking her permission. She leaned in.
We were so close I could feel her breath on my lips.

"Hey Oscar can I spend the night?" Leilani and I pulled away from eachother quickly.
I turned to see Cesar staring at us wide eyed.
A small smile started to form on his face.

Leilani's face was red.
"I'm gonna go check on- something that's not in here." She said as she rushed out of the bathroom.
I let out a deep sigh when she left.
I didn't want her to go.

It was wrong but even though whatever was about to happen would cause a shit ton of problem, I wanted it to happen.

I'm a shitty person.

Cesar watched as she walked out then stared at me again. "So, you and Nani?" He asked.
"Were just friends." I said.

"You sure? I wouldn't mind being related to Gio, Gazzy and Ruby." He said as he lifted up his eyebrow.

"Just friends." I said sternly.

"Keep telling yourself that." He said. "So about spending the night?"

"Go ahead." I grunted as I walked out.
---
Cesar was spending the night at Leilani's House with Ruby. Cesar asked me to stay too but I had something I needed to do.

I pulled up to Tyla's apartment.
I needed to talk to her.
We've been together for too long for me to let this relationship fail like it is right now.
I sat on my car as I waited for her to walk outside.
I waited for a good twenty minutes then there she was, as beautiful as always.

"Hey." Tyla said as she walked up to me cuddling a blanket.
"Hey." I said back as I pulled her into a hug.
"I want to talk about us." I said.
She looked at me shocked.

"Are you breaking up with me?" She asked.
I could hear the pain in her voice.
I shook my head.

"I really want us to work, I love you Tyla." I said as I held her face. I really mean it too.
"I'm sorry that we lost the baby, but I want us to get passed this, I want it to be how it used to be. I'm tired of the fighting." I whispered

I felt guilty for wanting to kiss Leilani.
I didn't cheat, but i was so ready to.
I would have cheated on the girl i love since i was thirteen, the girl who went through the pain of losing my child, I almost betrayed her and I had to fix it.

"I'm sorry." She said as she started crying.
"I've been so hard on you and blaming you when i shouldn't, I don't want to lose you." She said.

"You won't lose me, I love you." I said as i kissed her.

"We're going to be okay?" She said as she hugged me.

"Yeah, were going to be okay." I said.

----
end of chapter.

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